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a pep talk in the form of a slap in the face in the form of a blogboycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.comBlogger123125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-67454022909463163772009-06-10T07:00:00.000-07:002009-06-10T07:00:01.364-07:00if all else fails:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRrdP_wM2bMA72rzGL2la8ddxccAGv_BEQCyAcKBNpra2KySTk-tJZxCvUWHah0K4SP5pOKJxIYRCWclTVcXqM1dbgkSwAj873F_cY3xe9guJHjbJjXVSBdDxEJnKUx__9vJBxhLIViMsP/s1600-h/RM_jake_ocean_2005.jpg.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRrdP_wM2bMA72rzGL2la8ddxccAGv_BEQCyAcKBNpra2KySTk-tJZxCvUWHah0K4SP5pOKJxIYRCWclTVcXqM1dbgkSwAj873F_cY3xe9guJHjbJjXVSBdDxEJnKUx__9vJBxhLIViMsP/s400/RM_jake_ocean_2005.jpg.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345616651628860594" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">you know those parts of town you pass through on the way to somewhere else? when you look out the window and say 'Jesus Christ! who lives here'? well, maybe one day, YOU will. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">if all else fails and your life starts to derail; your dreams are shattered; love life is on the rocks- you can ALWAYS pack up and run away to some tucked away no mans land like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">reseda</span> or something! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">get a job at Starbucks (they have a health plan!) and start fucking all the dude employees you work with! start having an affair with the 18 year old boy who lives in the apartment next door and teach him what it means to be a man who can provide a woman with something that will ACTUALLY makes her HAPPY: A BACK RUN AND AN ORGASM! i DON'T recommend doing this 'till you're like 40 or something. but, it's important to be aware of ALL your life's options. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">when you get fired from Starbucks and are running from the cops because the neighbor boy, you've now been informed you were molesting, is ACTUALLY 16- you can buy a bus ticket to Lancaster or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">watsonville</span> or something. start selling fruit on a corner and only wear light denim, jean short, cut offs. on the weekends, swim in a lake, drink beer or mike's hard lemonade and fuck the complete ANTITHESIS of your former 16 year old lover: Enrique, the Latino heart throb of the area, who promises to teach you Spanish while he makes love to you.... but never gets past "you're pussy is so wet". oh well. </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';">I won't resort to any of this unless I end up miserable and in turmoil <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cuz</span> my life is in ruins. But until then, I'm good. No need to go there. Just a passing thought that runs through my mind whenever I end up in the valley- usually only when I'm SUPER DEEP in the valley, on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ventura</span> blvd in like woodland hills or something. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">xoxo</span></span></span><br /></div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-40956657403692942232009-06-08T07:00:00.000-07:002009-06-08T07:00:01.006-07:00if only:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEA60ZtUaDt9di5zNY_quLC9G-g50GHw7Yo6tllJfTPbpGFkxnULPxWpSjST4tdPZmugDTF4C3i7lnakzLRmyHXsYeVvJ50JgQjVaYI4NUSuYocHMwmCw-OMOgJ9yt22uFKmyYHLEQX412/s1600-h/sixteen_candles_1984_685x385.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEA60ZtUaDt9di5zNY_quLC9G-g50GHw7Yo6tllJfTPbpGFkxnULPxWpSjST4tdPZmugDTF4C3i7lnakzLRmyHXsYeVvJ50JgQjVaYI4NUSuYocHMwmCw-OMOgJ9yt22uFKmyYHLEQX412/s400/sixteen_candles_1984_685x385.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5344774460716089010" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">if only someone could promise us that all our craziest dreams and desires would come true; that everything would work out in the end.... and that we could rest assured that it will all be OK. but they can't. who knows what will happen between now and the time you die? that's the thing that some people actually LIKE about life. it's a constant surprise. a gamble. but that's also what others can HATE about it! </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">it's why some people take their own lives. they reach their breaking point. they hit their limit of 'not knowing' and they give up. they feel hopeless; think life is too hard to go on living because they're unhappy, unfulfilled, and can't continue living with the possibility that they may NEVER be happy- that their dreams may NEVER come true. and in the blink of an eye, they are gone forever. having died at their own hand. there is NO need for this to happen. but it does and it's tragic. so, it's important to look at the thought process that could cause this dark hole of hopelessness, and avoid it at all costs. <br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">we live in a world where phrases like 'you never know', 'just when i least expected...' , and 'who knows?' run wild. and they're true! you never know what's coming for you around the corner... good OR bad. just as quickly as you could contract herpes, you could win the lotto. and all you can do in the interim is live your life, be nice to your friends & family, try not to be such an asshole, maybe make people laugh if you don't mind, have a laugh yourself, and work towards making your dream become realized. letting it be bigger than just a thought inside your head. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">but before you can do this, you have to KNOW what it is you WANT. do you know? when you figure it out through thinking/writing in an unlined journal... brainstorming like a </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">kuh</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">-</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">razy</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> person, that's ONLY the beginning. every day, do at least ONE thing towards achieving your dream/goal. even if it's as simple as 'i wanna be a chef' and going to the supermarket to grocery shop or signing up for a cooking class (and hopefully actually going). </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">all of this will help towards moving your life in an inspired, focused direction. giving you things to daydream about and aspire to having/being! but if you feel trapped in a moody, super sad hole of despair...... do ANYTHING you can to perk yourself up! NO, NOT drugs- smoking- or binge eating (and by binge eating, i mean BINGE EATING: like eating an entire pizza in one sitting by yourself. or emptying the contents of your entire fridge into your stomach)!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">INSTEAD, how about seeing a movie by yourself; getting a small popcorn and peanut m&</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">m's</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> or red vines? have a vanilla soy OR nonfat milk latte (your call)! i mean, if you were ALREADY planning on killing yourself ANYWAY, why would you feel guilty about having a treat?! it's like looking at life from a whole new perspective! try reading the tabloids for free at the supermarket, going on a walk.... anything! even a bubble bath and calling a friend/seeking help from a </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">profesh</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> could change everything. you can even e-mail me. you see, getting so emotionally low can actually give you a whole new lease on life! if nothing matters, than you can be brave, and fearless, and choose to LIVE and not let others affect you! </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">so, just cheer up. after all, the beautiful thing about life is, even if you're not feeling your best right now....there just might be a happy surprise lurking just around the bend. i love you! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">xoxo</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><br /></div></div></div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-20839575472371874632009-06-03T07:00:00.000-07:002009-06-03T07:00:00.225-07:00the blind leading the blind PART 9:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0D7YC1W2DvoFvTV55Yfsu43DD5-HSWD660CGO_a879zpcUI8rFKQjeojBMeme4X3BZHfKAhldjYSWgPXqS9cQY0ooGj4FL8GI4A3XnayXxREK8IiuTFTkaURx95gRfsuMcNg-o4agDHA/s1600-h/mcginley_hysteric_fireworks.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0D7YC1W2DvoFvTV55Yfsu43DD5-HSWD660CGO_a879zpcUI8rFKQjeojBMeme4X3BZHfKAhldjYSWgPXqS9cQY0ooGj4FL8GI4A3XnayXxREK8IiuTFTkaURx95gRfsuMcNg-o4agDHA/s400/mcginley_hysteric_fireworks.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342966191514146770" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">1. live every day eating like you're about to be photographed naked by Ryan McGinley the next day.</span></span><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">2. don't be an idiot. save your money!!! open a savings account! put half of what you make in your checking and the other half in your savings. you'll thank me later! think ahead! the younger you are, the more thankful you'll be later!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3. it's bad manners to drink out of a glass/</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><wbr>cup/mug with a spoon in it.<br /><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4. wood does not absorb electricity. Unless we're talking about a dudes </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">wooden</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> dick and the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">electricity</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> of a woman's vagina. in this case, wood will totally absorb electricity!<br /><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">5. metal absorbs heat. If you leave your spoon in your tea/coffee/soup, it'll get cooler.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">6. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Stop smoking! It'll make you REAL UGLY, REAL FAST. I'd almost rather you develop a sex addiction instead (with condoms of course). It would be less harmful to your health. I don't care if it's your nervous outlet, if you're addicted! Go to cvs, Duane Reade, target, your local pharmacy and get the patch! Then go to whole foods and buy two packs of flavored tooth picks. One cinnamon and one tea tree. Good luck. Haggy, wrinkled, smokers won't be allowed to read this blog any more. So get it the fuck together! there's no excuse to smoke anymore!</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">7. i know i probably shouldn't say this but i feel compelled to; you should start loving your body if you don't already. even if it's all gross and you're out of shape. EVEN if you're a binge eating maniac with so many flaps of fat you can't properly clean all the crevices and as a result you tend to smell sour and can't figure out why. i say you should like your body because it's the only body you're ever gonna have and it's yours! my mom used to tell me 'how's your body ever gonna change for you if you keep telling it that you hate it?' so be nice to your body. that includes taking care of it with what you put inside it, (food, liquid and boys privates includes, how you wash it, how you move it, etc.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">8. you're ONLY allowed to have popcorn and peanut m&ms at the cinema if you're IN the movie that you're seeing. no exceptions. if you end up getting cut out of the film and you've already finished the treats and feel SUPER EXTRA guilty cuz your cause for celebration is now non existent- you better walk that shizz off fatty!</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">9. a SECOND on the lips, a LIFETIME on the hips. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">10. don't go in the ocean when you have your period. a shark will totally eat you. i live by this rule. be careful this summer. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-16151778986563247522009-06-02T07:00:00.000-07:002009-06-02T07:00:01.561-07:00first love - part 4:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhetPgJjDihy5k-eySOuqMU_UcjMNCc11r9eWTSDSzly_iLgFhO_eDWmmG2C3YUHus9u7J1ESN9TyLjA7xEjpUYalcnN7ftr1RkDTgT1AOOL4aOFp39cRrcH1kBMWEhuj2PTmz4eVdhZV-C/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKlzg808ifpREjuqto1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhetPgJjDihy5k-eySOuqMU_UcjMNCc11r9eWTSDSzly_iLgFhO_eDWmmG2C3YUHus9u7J1ESN9TyLjA7xEjpUYalcnN7ftr1RkDTgT1AOOL4aOFp39cRrcH1kBMWEhuj2PTmz4eVdhZV-C/s400/14vvPMLeKlzg808ifpREjuqto1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341123070168807346" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Felix and i went out for eight months. or did i just say eight, when it was REALLY only six, to make it sound more important than it was?I'll never know. sometimes i can lie to myself better than anyone could ever lie to me. cuz I'll believe it. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">under his influence, i tried drugs for the first time. THAT did NOT help what had ultimately began as a dream romance. I'm moody/crazy/and self conscious enough without the help of illegal substances. NOWADAYS, there's no way you'd even catch me smoking a cigarette! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">but ULTIMATELY, Felix and i could have never been together forever. i was too young. he was too young. we weren't a perfect fit in general, because we just weren't. but even if we WERE, there's no way we could have been at THAT point in our lives- because i don't think our brains were fully developed YET. mine probably still isn't. jk jk! or am i jk'ing?! life experience was lacking for both of us. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i was fifteen by the time it ended, and though i have the small tendency to be a bit needy now - at FIFTEEN i was at the BEGINNING stage of my ride with full throttle neediness. i pushed Felix away. one night i suggested we break up, in the hope he would beg for me to take him back, shower me with love and desperation! but this was not the case. instead he just said 'ok'. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i walked from his car onto my porch. i sat down on the bench outside and watched him, just sitting there in his car. we were both sad. it had mattered to him. he had loves me too. but it was too hard. and the joy was gone. that night was the equivalent of experiencing a death. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i can still conjure the mental image of Felix looking at me from his car, and it can STILL make me cry if i let it. he'll always be the boy who taught me what love is supposed to feel like. and he'll forever be the boy who took my virginity... or more like the boy i happily gave it away to. xo</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:39px;"><br /></span></div></span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-61965972770889591142009-06-01T07:00:00.000-07:002009-06-01T07:00:00.932-07:00first love - part 3:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbVTQj3No_GwzQrM6MXaRdVxCmsRaeu4VRuiS8x47gT4TXC-xhA_MF6donyONX3mct_ja5hi4RBCISBv40sQxTcyWKt0rIVrih22YPWt_wepT37FDSlVWEVwuiVWAfQcoKz5jd-CIj1LYP/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKlqjm738hc29GGeDo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbVTQj3No_GwzQrM6MXaRdVxCmsRaeu4VRuiS8x47gT4TXC-xhA_MF6donyONX3mct_ja5hi4RBCISBv40sQxTcyWKt0rIVrih22YPWt_wepT37FDSlVWEVwuiVWAfQcoKz5jd-CIj1LYP/s400/14vvPMLeKlqjm738hc29GGeDo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341122809376577362" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He was sarcastic and witty and I believed in him. He even wore nail-polish! He didn't care what anyone thought. And he was super cute. He was an American boy, but he looked like he was English Mick Jagger lips and a haircut like the Beatles. I think he had a beauty mark too. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">it went from me being completely intimidated by him, to the most intense first love i could ever imagine anyone having.</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">h</span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">mmm. now that i think about it, I'm pretty sure i maintained my feelings of intimidation all through the relationship. fuck! oh well, hindsight is 20/20. live and learn. but he was too cool not to be intimidating! i'd rather that than some wimpy lame-o.</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">no one had ever made me laugh like he did. Maybe someone had- but they weren't a boy OR they WERE, but weren't as cute? either way, that's when i realized what it meant for me to be in love: HE MAKES YOU LAUGH SO HARD YOU HURT, HE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND AND YOU WANNA HAVE SEX WITH HIM! Felix made me figure out what my version of love is too?! wowzers! this guy was on fire! no wonder this blog post is so long. what power he had over me!</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I think the person you call your boyfriend/the person you have on your arm, is a reflection of you. And he made me sooo proud that we were reflecting eachother. Yes, it was less complicated cuz I was 15. But in a way, it may have been more complicated emotionally. These were all new feelings. Everything was exciting. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Now, in my 20's, not only do i have to worry about getting my heart broken or breaking people's hearts- I have to worry about paying my bills too!!! </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I like drama in relationships and I'm trying not to, because this only makes things harder for everyone involved- especially me. And WAY more complicated than necessary. I'm trying to learn that an uncomplicated relationship IS NOT a boring relationship. And that's one of the reasons I'm in therapy. But, yes, I think I always look at my first love as a barometer to gauge if I've found love. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The dude I love HAS to make me laugh, be gorgeous, inspire me and have that secret ingredient that gives him an effortless cool. like he could be anywhere and people would want to listen to him, stand near him. The weird trick that's hard to find is this: I need him to chase me a bit, but not let me walk all over him. Cuz if he doesn't chase me and there are NO games at all- I'll get bored and frustrated and walk away. </span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Love and looking for love and waking up in the morning excited about a boy or girl is universal. It's what songs and movies are written about. And the dynamics between men and women fascinate me. (to be continued....one last time!)</span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div></span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-4570922861321001362009-05-29T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-29T07:00:01.195-07:00first love - part 2:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCfGXvZg_swDGkbFd2dIgCZqLggUdud5zJXjhUOf4R28FvqRce7N-f6UFcxNpIApLwlDkztRXc6r9bc-n6W-GybtpQn6DdG0qsA4oq9XcSWeWRuT4vmyRi7KaA35VwNkr93qyitYhTavdi/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKlzgbu46iUXN2OFgo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 305px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCfGXvZg_swDGkbFd2dIgCZqLggUdud5zJXjhUOf4R28FvqRce7N-f6UFcxNpIApLwlDkztRXc6r9bc-n6W-GybtpQn6DdG0qsA4oq9XcSWeWRuT4vmyRi7KaA35VwNkr93qyitYhTavdi/s400/14vvPMLeKlzgbu46iUXN2OFgo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5341121707127351298" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">all this was happening during that time in life when you don't know if you're gonna be a jock, a cheerleader, a raver or an indie kid. I chose the latter (although i leaned more towards mod, if you MUST know). And I think I did this because of indie dudes like Felix! they were the ones I was attracted to. by just existing, Felix alerted me to what i was instinctually attracted to. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sometimes what shapes a woman into the woman she learns to become, are the men she chooses to surround herself with. Or the dudes that choose her. the time you spend with the person you call your bf or gf or whatevs, is some of the most intimate time you experience. this is very influential in peoples lives. men AND women. deep conversations/thoughts exchanged with a person who makes your heart race and causes a rush of endorphins and dopamine is a BIG deal! this type of relationship allows for much more (or at least a different kind of) intimacy than you'd experience with your big sis or aunt. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">personally, I liked the boys who liked the pixies, unwound, built to spill, fugazi, the make up and modest mouse. This doesn't mean I liked EVERYTHING they liked - but when I was super young I went along with what the boys thought was cool. i was a sponge. listening to conversations about records and making the knowledge they spewed my own. But as I grew up and became my own person, I learned to differentiate between what I liked, didn't like, and what i had fooled myself into liking. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">As a young person finding yourself, you use all the tools around you to define who you are and develop a sense of self. friends, books, movies, music, TV, clothes, etc. I am an only child who grew up in a turbulent home with a dad who didn't say I love you enough. Boo hoo me. WAHHHH! but, LUCKILY, I had lots of guy friends (who i MOST LIKELY sought out as male figures to give me attention affection and approval) who treated me like a sister. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">t</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">hey drove me to shows when I was too young to drive. They picked me up after school, we got french fries and talked shit! they included me, stood up for me. i felt like i was special, chosen, belonged, had a family and a secret society. i was untouchable. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">one of these guys in this gang of big bros was Felix. who was only now in my life, after randomly running into him a year after i found out he even existed! and while spending time with him, during group hang out sessions....i fell in love with him. and the best part was...he 'like-liked' (youthful slang for love) me back! i couldn't believe it. (to be continued) </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><div><br /></div></span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-15777807666205375662009-05-28T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-28T07:00:00.709-07:00first love:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWOsHtGZcx082H5gJqvH_PFh_GKepsK48HYg-uBWjrlCxw6nBiqgx5JFyYnlca6q0c_ecdUBVEah1XG2uFBHoY2EeP0wnH5rgCQQO4N2tCN1M_I80EgkJrMfUHncBj-gaUTFw_ht1BpHrp/s1600-h/rooo_15640611-1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 294px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWOsHtGZcx082H5gJqvH_PFh_GKepsK48HYg-uBWjrlCxw6nBiqgx5JFyYnlca6q0c_ecdUBVEah1XG2uFBHoY2EeP0wnH5rgCQQO4N2tCN1M_I80EgkJrMfUHncBj-gaUTFw_ht1BpHrp/s400/rooo_15640611-1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340809905398805282" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He was gorgeous. He was older than me. 18 to my 15. the coolest boy i had ever met. A drummer of a band. i guess I've always had a thing for drummers. I've put up with tapping from boys for so long, and now when they do it, it just annoys me, instead of fascinate or turn me on.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br />he had been in and around my life for a while without me knowing it. in 9</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">th</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> grade the coolest of the 11</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">th</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> grade girls let me and my friend Alana tag along with them (at their mercy) to a rave in downtown la. we all got ready together, lied to our parents about where we would be, what we would be doing.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">before going to the rave, we had to stop at some coffee house on </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ventura</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Blvd</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. i can't remember why (map point?- no) or what it was called. the alligator lounge? no. blue iguanas? no. just, SOME coffee house. we were waiting for </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">kelly's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> (prettiest of the cooler older girls- at least in my opinion) boyfriend to show up. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">he was older than her and she was crazy over him- but all i could think was 'who is this mystery dude? he's running super late and ruining the party!' but because i was frozen, in fear of not being cool, and planning EVERY word i uttered around the older cooler kids....i picked and planned what came out of my mouth minutes before i said anything! and regarding </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">kelly's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> late bf, i kept my fucking mouth shut and smoked. (at this point in my life, i think i had yet to learn abut inhaling.) </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i smoked Marlborough menthol light 100's. LAME! homeless people wouldn't even take my cigarettes. it was many raves/shows/nights later- up all hours at </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Twain's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">/canters/nova express (all ages coffee shops and late night spots)- that i was FINALLY taught to inhale. why didn't anyone tell me? how embarrassing! but, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">geeze</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, NOT inhaling totally didn't hurt like INHALING. i guess you have to pick your battles. cool won over common sense, getting in trouble with grown ups, and cancer EVERY TIME!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">back to the story, Kelly's dude FINALLY showed up! his name was Felix. i barely looked at him. i was too shy and didn't want to reveal to much about myself by staring. he wore high water Dickie's, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">etnies</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, had full hair, not long, just full like a member of the Beatles. had a back pack written on with white out. I'm sure a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">hackey</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> sack lurked somewhere inside. but that was really none of my business. he seemed angry and serious. for the first time ever, i saw the older girls i thought were the coolest- revert to being just as big a dork as i acted when i was around THEM! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">a year and a half later, i was walking from my moms house in north Hollywood to a coffee shop on </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">lankershim</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> blvd.(hey, when you're 14, it's all you can do!) and who was walking out of an early evening band practice </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">sesh</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">?.....Felix! i couldn't breathe! it was a sign! he was it!!!! he and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">kelly</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> had long since broken up. it was a whole new era.... and i was about to be 15! the possibilities were endless!(to be continued)</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-32535672985305846712009-05-27T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-27T07:00:00.636-07:00always something:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjclDZxW55KnXqGfUdrR9b8YnSNVvEyLPCTOM42yx2SfSjL2iYmCSGvxeb5Nr5BaOWDugELNEoRZSAtFLVkV5UlFEANWyCjC6Tai7OQYYbaZlZKTKWS1CWoyLFfZxzBaqk1vNkN_e-lKV4N/s1600-h/RJ_Shaughnessy_070.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjclDZxW55KnXqGfUdrR9b8YnSNVvEyLPCTOM42yx2SfSjL2iYmCSGvxeb5Nr5BaOWDugELNEoRZSAtFLVkV5UlFEANWyCjC6Tai7OQYYbaZlZKTKWS1CWoyLFfZxzBaqk1vNkN_e-lKV4N/s400/RJ_Shaughnessy_070.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340398336491347538" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">a couple of months ago, i was seeing a boy. these are thoughts i wrote down during that relationship experience: </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">"what is my problem? I've found a guy who says he loves me and I stayed with him. He </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">consistently</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> calls me, is </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">ok</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> with me coming over to his house on a regular basis. But he's so cool and calm and collected. He can get mad, but he never explodes. Maybe he implodes, but I'd never be able to tell. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Sometimes I feel alone when I'm next to him. His dry sense of humor and how much he loves himself is pretty entertaining most of the time. But I always feel like I'm left with nothing when I get off the phone with him, or leave his house.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">My problem is; I feel as though he would be completely </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">unaffected</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> if we were to never speak again. As if he doesn't cry, or get truly sad about ANYTHING. As if he could take me or leave me. And that does not make me feel good. That does not sit well in me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I know LOGICALLY that he loves me (as much as he is CAPABLE of loving someone- which is supposed to make me feel better?), that we are as he says 'on the same team', but there is a </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">disconnect</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I am not logical like he is. I scream and I cry and I have tantrums and all I want him to do is put his arms around me and show that he's passionate about me! He's so cavalier it hurts me and makes me ache. He doesn't have the need to kiss me and hug me like I need to kiss him and hug him. Kissing him and holding him are like medicine for me. But lately I don't want to bother him for my doses. I wonder if he'll remember on his own. If he needs my love as much as I need his. But he doesn't. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">And then there are the days where he </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">trys</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. when he's tuned in, 'on', and shows that he loves me- by the way he looks at me, cuddles me and tickles me. ALL the things he does for me/with me. And I KNOW. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">but just as soon as he's got me under his spell, he's off in his own world again. Love is hard."</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">since that experience, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i've</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> changed. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i don't feel sad, empty or confused anymore..... </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">because </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i'm</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> dating someone new now. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i'll</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> let you know how it goes. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">xoxox</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">ps:</span> here's something neat I'm gonna be a part of this Sunday (May 31,09) at space 1520 (1520 N. Cahuenga Blvd. LA CA 90028)from 11am-4pm........</span></div></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1mQGPIqlDAkmWNTnw_GkuH2yukdhAJG08OM_DBMhDDjhq3tjoZf0kz_qiJzm9HBaemNDrhFqC6mZhgCIhlFYQshyphenhyphenUSbgaX3LVLa_c7ZrdgPoJeezGTClI5wpEbpy5C9EfPz04GPVXtPh1/s1600-h/blogger+.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1mQGPIqlDAkmWNTnw_GkuH2yukdhAJG08OM_DBMhDDjhq3tjoZf0kz_qiJzm9HBaemNDrhFqC6mZhgCIhlFYQshyphenhyphenUSbgaX3LVLa_c7ZrdgPoJeezGTClI5wpEbpy5C9EfPz04GPVXtPh1/s400/blogger+.gif" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5340405994066786898" /></a>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-58292289361578660272009-05-26T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-26T07:00:00.733-07:00FREE SHIT IS RAD!!!!<object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aBHpBFqVJsw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aBHpBFqVJsw&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-31457046665003915452009-05-21T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-21T07:00:00.920-07:00the blind leading the blind PART 8:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuZ90GUJMJctn3pxLwB3A7LWovuXGxUrQbXNRFoogVyThZ-sMSSq1Ypgclb7EcU6bpAovLihlSFL5usPlofzc4Mg5SAJeoZkOfqdnCzkaI0ajFAS4ZLdVr_izGX380yzz4QzqTGUJnkP13/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKljvgrongwsI73udo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 294px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuZ90GUJMJctn3pxLwB3A7LWovuXGxUrQbXNRFoogVyThZ-sMSSq1Ypgclb7EcU6bpAovLihlSFL5usPlofzc4Mg5SAJeoZkOfqdnCzkaI0ajFAS4ZLdVr_izGX380yzz4QzqTGUJnkP13/s400/14vvPMLeKljvgrongwsI73udo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334094121666949042" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">1. if the one person you DON'T wanna have sex with is your boyfriend, there's a problem. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">2. if you're put on hold for longer than 9 seconds, hang up/press end.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">3.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">men put work first. Women put men first. Don't do it for a man, do it for yourself. let's change the way we think.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">4. NEVER, i repeat NEVER wear flap pocket pants. you are not a joke! don't dress like one.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">5. if you pick at an ingrown hair on your bikini line, people will TOTALLY think you have herpes. i'm just saying.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">6. never pay for a man. let him pay for you. if you MUST, split the check. but only if you really love him.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">7. e</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">verything is better when you're eating with chopsticks. Remember that scene in the breakfast club, when everyone stares at molly ringwald cuz she's eating sushi for lunch? Fancy beauties need sticks to hold their food and direct it into their mouth. Duh! Get with the program and join the club! fyi, you can't eat a pizza with chopsticks.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">8. stop TALKING about what you're GONNA do and just DO it. nobody will believe you anyway until it's done and you've actually accomplished something.</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">9. get rid of what you don't need. Leggings with stains?! are you kidding me? you're what? Saving them for a rainy day when you have food poisoning or your period or something? NO! I don't give a fuck! Get the fuck rid of them/it! It's a representation of you. An extension of you. Like your bf, your apt, your job, your clothes, your friends! Do you save your fucking stained panties too? Reserving them for when you're bleeding and/or aren't gonna be around a dude you're trying to impress? Well that's nasty! Don't accidentally fall into the trap of being a fowl dirty bitch! Even in the privacy of your own home- it isn't ok! you're doing it for you, not him! Be a fancy princess alone too! even just for yourself! Just for you, not for him! I love you!<br /><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">10. it's super important that when looking for a new apartment to rent/move into- you feel SAFE! i can't stress enough the importance of feeling safe. not only in your apt, but where you hang out, with your dude, with your friends, etc.</span></span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-73217794360800329902009-05-20T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-20T11:46:59.086-07:00a rant on monogamy:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3q7B6vJMDN34qvTctjszOg6-oZ-hNKQkoH49PJce29fMyCawSJAQ33vrBPwcTRBhYaNdhgzcS8UuhlthEIUweC3WRs8RyJSbN647IroVpWW1x47bEhGvYYqBSspyXwHh1gC3ugD0z60Q7/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKlzghocdJ9F0xa0Lo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 270px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3q7B6vJMDN34qvTctjszOg6-oZ-hNKQkoH49PJce29fMyCawSJAQ33vrBPwcTRBhYaNdhgzcS8UuhlthEIUweC3WRs8RyJSbN647IroVpWW1x47bEhGvYYqBSspyXwHh1gC3ugD0z60Q7/s400/14vvPMLeKlzghocdJ9F0xa0Lo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337815700655240818" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">so, I've been thinking a lot about monogamy lately. Is mid to late twenties still too young to fall in love & say you're gonna spend the rest of your life with someone? would it be better to meet someone when you're in your early to mid thirties? </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">but women freak out about this! they think that if they meet someone when they're 34/35, they'll have to rush into having a baby out of fear their bio clock is tick tick ticking! but is it? should women still fear this? it seems like women are having babies later & later nowadays. I'm not saying try when you're 50, but waiting till you're 38 to procreate doesn't seem so scary anymore. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i also hear it's common for women to have a miscarriage the first time they get preggers. but i am in no way an authority on any of this. i am not in my thirties, i have never been pregs, i have never had a miscarriage or an abortion, and i am not trying to make a baby any time soon. all real questions on this subject should be taken up with one or more gynecologists- to ask them for their expert opinions on all these topics. <br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">as for relationships, isn't it better to have a passionate relationship and if/when the passion runs out- leave and hopefully walk away with having learned something? what do you think? I'm interested in getting my readers opinions. all eight of you!<br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">when things get lackluster or you begin to feel either too comfortable or perhaps a bit taken for granted, shouldn't you leave? is it possible to keep the excitement and passion in the beginning/the enchantment forever? I need to interview some older men/women and see what they have to say. on one hand, it would be nice to be crazy high euphoric in love forever. but on the other hand, i don't think you'd get anything in your work life accomplished! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">euphoria tends to dwindle. the urge to kiss strangers pops up again. it doesn't necessarily mean you're not in LOVE with the bf anymore, it might just mean you're in the dulldrums/disenchanted and have fallen from the clouds. Reality has set in and it feels like shit, compared to the start of the relationship. but chasing that feeling isn't real though. It's another addiction: just like people can be addicted to food, drugs, sex. it's a love addiction. an addiction to high highs and low lows. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">is it OK to accept that the truth may be this: that a stable, mellow, even keel relationship is healthy and the way to be? that it's ok for real life to set in and for you to realize that you can't put ALL your attention on your significant other 24/7. you have to have a LIFE of your own. and it's ok if he has a life of HIS own. that relationships go in flows. they have ups and downs. it can't be ALL drama and passion ALL the time. sometimes it's just a steady paced thing, which can feel very boring to someone whose idea of a normal relationship is kuh-razy highs and lows with screaming and crying; or trying to make the other person jealous in order to feel attractive and desired; fucking in public; shutting the rest of the world out of their love bubble. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">All I know is that i would hate for any bf of mine to be thinking these thoughts! but i guess that's why the saying 'what someone else is thinking is none of your business' exists. and THANK GOD your thoughts are inside your head and you don't have to share them with anyone if you don't want to. UNLESS you have a blog and are too honest for your own good. then all your thoughts are public knowledge and you're fucked. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i love you. be nice to the one you love. they're on your side. not if they beat you though. then they are not on your side. xo</span></span></div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-67804970991787480502009-05-18T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-18T07:00:00.989-07:00chatting with PATRICK:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG7kRwk38zYKpUT7uGUX6RFAG6scOoMl8gaHcg-O8m8KeTrzSu9f1z2OVIVkWIFuA2vIFgpvELP5pn9hhP3NA95oyH0ixWkNAgyEn6zLobPz7nosVUuKYqNqmr6AE-nUCZ0tp9vc02Iwd5/s1600-h/09_woman_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 196px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG7kRwk38zYKpUT7uGUX6RFAG6scOoMl8gaHcg-O8m8KeTrzSu9f1z2OVIVkWIFuA2vIFgpvELP5pn9hhP3NA95oyH0ixWkNAgyEn6zLobPz7nosVUuKYqNqmr6AE-nUCZ0tp9vc02Iwd5/s400/09_woman_1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5334095747279144274" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">this is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Patrick</span>! we've known <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">eachother</span> for about ten years! he's gorgeous and smart; has great taste in music; we share a love of Belle and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Sebastian</span> AND the same birthday (<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">February</span> 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">th</span>)!<br /><br />in this epic <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">vid</span>: <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Patrick</span> and i talk about love, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">monogamy</span>, and finding everything you want in just one person! personally, i walked away feeling better about my priorities and the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">unnecessary</span> weight i put on the men in my life. you might too! enjoy! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">xox</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span><br /><object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4570758&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4570758&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/4570758">chatting with PATRICK:</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/alexiwasser"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">alexi</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">wasser</span></a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Vimeo</span></a>.</p>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-59429400329965498032009-05-15T07:00:00.001-07:002009-05-15T07:00:01.059-07:00deep inside the factory - american apparel:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SGCDl3oxgd98-fY47Y632Q01mihKH5k6Mb2KAtc2ztJ_Ja_X1GQQRhVvCiZAUVqgoEhGFNeyL8r50Mkv_ki_c7k3UIdbv2kMHbOlU7DV2Vsf2yUt8rIEGk9ZszkfqkSk0CfNjVaEf0Rr/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKmqmhgti4dbsHe5uo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SGCDl3oxgd98-fY47Y632Q01mihKH5k6Mb2KAtc2ztJ_Ja_X1GQQRhVvCiZAUVqgoEhGFNeyL8r50Mkv_ki_c7k3UIdbv2kMHbOlU7DV2Vsf2yUt8rIEGk9ZszkfqkSk0CfNjVaEf0Rr/s400/14vvPMLeKmqmhgti4dbsHe5uo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335938356205388338" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">oh my goodness. so, i did it! i had my FIRST visit to the American apparel factory in downtown Los Angeles. HQ if you will; where ALL the magic happens. it was a little daunting. not only is there a huge American apparel store NEXT to the actual factory, where i spent 2 hours shopping and trying on sample pieces that aren't available at the regular stores- but there were a whole SLEW of awesome man babes lurking about. tall, short, blond, brunette- looking busy AND official in a skinny, aloof, somewhat androgynous kinda way. i was in heaven. clothes and boys! wheeeee! it was like a modern day willy wonka chocolate factory for a girl who's lies about being lactose intolerant cuz she's always on a diet! </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i was nervous. i felt out of place- which i kinda was, cuz i don't actually work at the factory- but my friend Lisa Kim was kind enough to invite me in with open arms, give me a tour and then have a gossip sesh with me over 50 cent coffee in the cafeteria that is EXACTLY like an elementary school/junior high caf. right down to the covered outdoor seating area and post modern style community tables with built in benches, that'll probably be the 'it' piece and cost a fortune in about twenty years! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">but back to the point; please join me on my first and DEFINITELY NOT last trip to the American apparel factory. I've only just begun to collect all the boys that are hidden inside. gay, straight, unsure....i love you ALL and am coming after you. so be prepared to be interviewed! you look fabulous! how could you not? you're wearing American apparel! maybe one day I'll even interview Dov............xoxo</span></span></div><br /><object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4659913&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4659913&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/4659913">deep inside the factory - american apparel:</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/alexiwasser">alexi wasser</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-9254738583312456922009-05-14T07:00:00.001-07:002009-05-14T07:00:00.644-07:00the blind leading the blind PART 7:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUcHg2TxqJVFAFHsHOTFadG-LdTXa0Y9w-qFQLT1rXvLOqUBWoAEOf9IruCzEdM5GrG3imraEvgkjR0udqOou0TL5mcHV_vKJ9GAO5R2SbuMDF0aLwCD9sa8wjHLX5PPJM6z7aSmAYMFz7/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKmmd74t9srz9odnDo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUcHg2TxqJVFAFHsHOTFadG-LdTXa0Y9w-qFQLT1rXvLOqUBWoAEOf9IruCzEdM5GrG3imraEvgkjR0udqOou0TL5mcHV_vKJ9GAO5R2SbuMDF0aLwCD9sa8wjHLX5PPJM6z7aSmAYMFz7/s400/14vvPMLeKmmd74t9srz9odnDo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333931267777363634" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">1. if a fat and/or ugly dude snubs you, it's time to look at yourself in the mirror. it might be time for a make over. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">2. if you're in a car and you see a cute dude, honk your horn. women NEVER do this. men do it! gardeners do it! just give it a try. the dudes will LOVE it and be a bit confused/taken a back. it's like punching them in the face with your new found power vadge! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3. if a boy says no one will ever love you as much as he loves you, don't believe it. he's trying to suck you back in. it's actually another reason why you SHOULDN'T be with him. the world is large and you are lovable. i hope. i haven't met you, but i've heard totally good things!</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4. you are a woman. you have the power to cast spells over boys with your words, your silence, gestures, eyes, and actions. this power can be super fun/entertaining, and will most likely result in an epic make out and/or someone falling in love with you. i can't stress enough how much power you have. use it wisely.</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">5. make a life list of what you want for yourself. what you want to do professionally, where you want to travel, things you really and truly want to accomplish, where you want to live, etc. and put them up on your wall. i can't tell you how important it is to see what your life goals are every morning when you wake up- right there in front of you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">6. wear mascara! what the fuck is your problem? it will only make your life better. trust me. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">7. if you begin a relationship with someone and you think you love them, but as time goes by you begin to realize they aren't the person who thought they were. OR they aren't what you WANT anymore, don't be afraid to leave. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">8. if you ask your date for a coca cola and he comes back from the bar and hands you a diet coke- it means he thinks you're fat.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">9. being the bearer of bad news does not ALWAYS feel THIS good. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">10. when he calls, let it ring at least twice. nobody likes a desperate whore. xo</span></span></div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-54543137590646382722009-05-13T07:00:00.001-07:002009-05-13T22:17:30.861-07:00HEY, IT'S CALI DeWITT:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc26d9QcObvuzVowQ6ZO5ZfFh-aJNdVJ9549JQVMruNpjaEaS0_niReiX21wCvYpZe_JOZnxZ0uwwTAWEqppWK1meEdDXf5T2ksGMKvpUShorcFeb3wGVHgRrLIYKG-St46sebucG3KhFM/s1600-h/cali.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 308px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc26d9QcObvuzVowQ6ZO5ZfFh-aJNdVJ9549JQVMruNpjaEaS0_niReiX21wCvYpZe_JOZnxZ0uwwTAWEqppWK1meEdDXf5T2ksGMKvpUShorcFeb3wGVHgRrLIYKG-St46sebucG3KhFM/s400/cali.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332767265973749298" /></a><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">this is Cali DeWitt. a legend in his own time. he's lived a thousand lives, is REFERENCED in books, and has awesome bros-(one of which kind of looks like Jarvis Cocker and has WRITTEN a </span></span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/08/books/review/Barry-t.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">book</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';">.)</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1PD9f5TcG32MGK7HLUMwDPSdYLzCtZWE5wGgyAT2Tv5cOzddAWPq7qV6tJOu35POnTxjruueFM_Hn75eUuoUKL1C8nwjBi78kBkD1Kjw_h4ohKnZ-AZTAbmO1YJsB8cj95_1ZWqnzo8j/s1600-h/ablutionsd.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 264px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1PD9f5TcG32MGK7HLUMwDPSdYLzCtZWE5wGgyAT2Tv5cOzddAWPq7qV6tJOu35POnTxjruueFM_Hn75eUuoUKL1C8nwjBi78kBkD1Kjw_h4ohKnZ-AZTAbmO1YJsB8cj95_1ZWqnzo8j/s400/ablutionsd.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335389454703984530" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:Georgia;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Cali is/has achieved, so many things: co owner of </span></span><a href="http://www.hopegalleryla.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">hope gallery</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, a master blogger- </span></span><a href="http://teenageteardrops.abstractdynamics.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">yesterday</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and </span></span><a href="http://www.rvca.com/advocates/?cat=10"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">today</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, a great friend who will set you straight when you need some words of wisdom! he even runs a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://teenageteardrops.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">record</span></a></span> label! need i go on, cuz i will?! don't push me! </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">unfortunately, when i ran into Cali, my camera was on the compact setting. and because of this- the video isn't as clear as it should be. i'm sorry Cali! this is what happens when i see you, i freak out in the best possible way and my camera skills go all herky jerky cuz i get too excited! i'm sure you understand! you're CALI!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:22px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">why did i bother with the fasting and all that when Cali tells me this.....:</span></span><br /></div><br /><object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4514124&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4514124&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/4514124">boycrazy video - hey, it's CALI!:</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/alexiwasser">alexi wasser</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</p>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-5125373907291232702009-05-12T07:00:00.002-07:002009-05-13T12:08:01.789-07:00they care - part 2:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheIGteBfJnMnqQm97ry4ilTfCBuwjRWO4tIpUXoTbuk4FgUHIPdpV0rPnWMzuhFK-N-CVe4MAGh_KLT57rvmkTNYx7nldpIkVYbOJVVV4vB3IMnl3YQVPXVOYMipFz2ESSyB9liK9eJpu1/s1600-h/RJ_Shaughnessy_068.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheIGteBfJnMnqQm97ry4ilTfCBuwjRWO4tIpUXoTbuk4FgUHIPdpV0rPnWMzuhFK-N-CVe4MAGh_KLT57rvmkTNYx7nldpIkVYbOJVVV4vB3IMnl3YQVPXVOYMipFz2ESSyB9liK9eJpu1/s400/RJ_Shaughnessy_068.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5335387171894520562" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">the only GOOD thing about how expensive and far away 'we care' is- is that, for a person like me it means 1.) I MUST follow the rules, cuz I don't take money for granted. And 2.) I NEED to be secluded in the desert in order to fast- cuz I don't have willpower when it comes to food! </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I swam, sat in the sauna, lay in the floating day bed under a tee-pee shaped pyramid type apparatus. the people at 'we care' said that "it's good to sit under a pyramid when you meditate" or whatever. i forget why. something like, it helps you be more focused or it gets rid of negative energy or your dreams will come true. they may not have said the last part, but i sat on that daybed under the pyramid like a CHAMPION every chance i got! you better believe it!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">LAST time I went to 'we care' (five years ago), I fasted for eight days! And by day four, I was in dire need of being f**ked. who knew THAT would be a side effect? THIS time around, I didn't feel like that AT ALL. But then again, i was only there for three days! phew. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">LAST time there weren't any hot babes at the spa. but THIS time, there was a young-ish (early thirties) musician boy. he even had hair on his chest, which I LOVE! we chatted a bit and swam. but it was all SUPER platonic. something about a spa where you know everyone's getting colonics kinda kills the sexy. and besides, I have my eye on ANOTHER dude right now. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">unfortunately i brought a super boring, practical bathing suit that didn't define my girlishness/feminine wiles one bit! good thing i WASN'T after the musician babe. he may have totally rejected me. i looked like a twelve year old in an eighties, french new wave film. which, in hindsight, doesn't actually sound so bad. if i HAD WANTED or been PREPARED to woo a dude into my room, or having a tawdry makeout on a lounge chair or the floating daybed, i would have been sporting one of two American Apparel bikinis that i'm waiting to be sent to me! the cobalt blue <a href="http://store.americanapparel.net/rnt09.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">bandeau top</span></span></a> and <a href="http://store.americanapparel.net/rnt05.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">retro bottom</span></span></a> or the grape colored ULTRA scandalous <a href="http://store.americanapparel.net/rnt01.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">string bikini</span></span></a>! they look rad. but, no. i wasn't wearing either. life is rough. i've said it before.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If you DO decide to come out to 'we care', don't bring the bf. it gets too gnarly and will ruin your relationship. instead, do what I did: lay in the floating day bed under a pyramid tee-pee/go swimming/sweat out more toxins and fat in the sauna/go in the jacuzzi/read a trashy novel/touch yourself/sleep/and write! Or bring your mom! she'll love it? Xo</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-42009206064152244112009-05-11T07:00:00.001-07:002009-05-11T07:00:00.386-07:00they care:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkhCtkJ6MBGbzDgkpvj_maxHuZdqrosIc_hua4GarqxQtPJZTOMZIpzQfNP8dRqz-rBQIhK3v710cmRwZubtZA-bboQi9S3B95yAkilwV_3b7RFt4AEB75_ADtC_SLwVEHIdY3F__MQ-HZ/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKm12elu0U6CItLvKo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkhCtkJ6MBGbzDgkpvj_maxHuZdqrosIc_hua4GarqxQtPJZTOMZIpzQfNP8dRqz-rBQIhK3v710cmRwZubtZA-bboQi9S3B95yAkilwV_3b7RFt4AEB75_ADtC_SLwVEHIdY3F__MQ-HZ/s400/14vvPMLeKm12elu0U6CItLvKo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333937390397422114" /></a><a href="http://www.wecarespa.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">'we care</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' is everything i </span></span><a href="http://imboycrazy.com/2009/05/nylon-party-message-from-kelly-and-luke.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">forgot</span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> it was! i love it here. it's like a grown up version of summer camp. women are euphoric here! why? because none of us are eating and that only means one thing: we're losing weight! i'm the youngest person here. that won't always be the case, so i'll enjoy it while i can. you should too, whoever you are. after all, today is the youngest you're ever gonna be!</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i had my colonic, and it wasn't even scary. the only things that came out of me were bad dreams and pixie dust. just as i suspected. i DID have to ask the colon therapist how the hell she got into this business. her answer was something along the lines of: i was a makeup artist and through learning about health and stuff, i got into this. wtf? i get it, if i squint while i think i about it. either way, i'm officially sold!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">even if i DO think the whole thing is an embarrassing nightmare of self indulgence! but, i take myself seriously, so if i'm not self indulgent, who else will indulge me? </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">she said the colon is twenty five feet long and basically the garbage can of your body. you can't clean it out/scrape the plaque off of it (yikes) without getting colonics. am i drinking the koolaide, cuz this makes sense to me? i'm not a cult member YET, i just see what they're saying. what? don't look at me like that! MY colon's cleaner than YOURS! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">there's some weird shaky machine called a vibra-trim that you stand on and makes your whole body vibrate. they say it's good to do before a colonic AND its good for your lymphatic system. but mostly it just makes me feel like a kid who likes to wiggle. which i am. in reality, it's probably on the verge of dislodging by brain from it's brain holder- but 'we care' said to do it, and they TOTALLY care. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i have 2 more colonics to get while i'm here for the weekend.i guess i'll have to say goodbye to any more bad vibes and nightmares that lurk within me. every hour, i have to take a supplement or drink some kind of tea or juice or detox bev (slang for beverage). it makes not eating easy, cuz there's a very structured plan and you don't feel like you're being deprived. other than that, i'm trying to get out of my head and not be so mental. not OVER THINK so much. i still wanna over think, just not as much as I do.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here's what i'm learning while at we care: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">1. i have an addiction to the internet, texting, my cell phone (blackberry) in general, and coffee. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">2. i usually live my life letting food control me. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3. only i have the power to create my life. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4. no one should be able to intimidate me. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">all of this sounds very new agey, so i will call this my 'new age phase' and leave it at that. i promise; back to trash talking, sexy, funny, boy stuff later this week. xo</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-78352251523203968282009-05-07T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-07T07:00:00.510-07:00how to be mean:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3DV1EEVGsgBmaau8_Tf-h4s7_wfKMZnK6-q7Z1q0xZPArCPkV0vBXhVt4gPs75XNyQLnZLkywOp9-wz9Ij0a3NgULdSzC9DP5PgTBgDrRPDXDdpqqW1hTo8cuIyBthyphenhyphenrUpaA4Z_QvMACN/s1600-h/foxes1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 266px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3DV1EEVGsgBmaau8_Tf-h4s7_wfKMZnK6-q7Z1q0xZPArCPkV0vBXhVt4gPs75XNyQLnZLkywOp9-wz9Ij0a3NgULdSzC9DP5PgTBgDrRPDXDdpqqW1hTo8cuIyBthyphenhyphenrUpaA4Z_QvMACN/s400/foxes1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332574506834947298" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">If you wanna be a mean, elitist asshole, who makes everyone around them feel less than, insecure, excluded, etc, it's easy </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">peasy</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">! here's your sure fire ticket into a super cool hierarchy of the mean people/cooler kids club. People will whisper about you and wonder why you don't like them. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meanster</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' breeds the worst kind of person: the 'insecure mess'! The 'insecure mess' is probably lovely, has a lot of potential, but is too easily wrapped up in whether the meanies like him/her. They need too much validation from everyone. It isn't 100% the '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meansters</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' fault- but they really help the sickness perpetuate. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">I don't recommend being a '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meanster</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">cuz</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> it usually stems from insecurities, a need to be in control by hurting other people,and trying to control peoples feelings. the longer the '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meanster</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' is a mean, shit talking, hater, keeping people down-the harder it will be for the '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meanster</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' to take chances and put themselves out into the world to be judged. because they'll be afraid that everyone else is as cruel and judgemental as they are. but, it's up to you. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">here are the '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meanster</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' ingredients:</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">sit back. Always look mean and bored AT THE SAME TIME. never remember having met someone, even if you do! If someone puts their hand out for you to shake it, DON'T! If a person makes a joke, don't laugh! Instead, learn how to do the "are you fucking serious face" keeping direct eye contact with the victim at hand. THEN, slowly look away to the left, THEN roll your eyes to the right! when someone gets excited about something, indulge them for a few minutes to engage their trust. fake your enthusiasm! match THEIR enthusiasm- for WHATEVER they're taking about. Then withdraw and completely </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">turn</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> on them! Pow! Like a warm knife in their back! and just stare at them blankly like you are </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">SO</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> repulsed and shocked by the fact that you're in the presence of such </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">lame'ocracy</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">! Act as though you are completely unaware/numb to the hurt feelings of the person whose heart you just ripped out.the person you just pulled the rug out from under. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">It's easy to be a cruel, vicious, mean, elitist, snob. All it takes is withdrawing who you are. Not putting yourself on the line. Monitoring every syllable you utter, so no one will make fun of you. Being devoid of a strong personality. Not letting people see the real you. Keeping the people around you, friends AND enemies, from ever really feeling safe around you. ACTUALLY, being devoid of a personality to begin with REALLY helps! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">if this is the personality you want to have, good luck. hopefully you're a very talented person, make a lot of money or are super good looking. Because people are much more willing to take crap from a beautiful, famous, rich monster; than an average, regular, ugly, poor monster. But you still couldn't pay me to be near you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">in reality, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">everyone's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> just a</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> nerd. All the bullshit is pretentious and a cover up! speaking of talent/success and the personalities that go hand in hand with those qualities: every super powerful, successful, inspiration I've ever met has been the most open, no nonsense person. No aloof pretense and superficial shell. They know who they are, they like themselves, or have at least accepted themselves. they're open to learning new things, hearing what people have to say, and if nothing else- they have </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">compassion</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and understanding enough to be accepting of people and be polite enough to grant common courtesy. It's HARDER to be like this. It's harder to be comfortable in your skin. But the pay off is so much better! I promise! Choose wisely! </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Xoxo</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-85780482935381216692009-05-06T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-06T09:55:24.961-07:00sucking out the poison:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXOrijcqJruc_VKgUzgzXlVdtLdThhC9S9ZYYi-a7Ty2CriNpiEdsF50AdRpiUr6RGp-G-Um2ocMTxWpA9ZpAO5Lq64gd-7zZiCot7bhULIDLsif5z9RUbMfHakqH9vFgggAvrVFyr2Rjz/s1600-h/FreudMarx.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 293px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXOrijcqJruc_VKgUzgzXlVdtLdThhC9S9ZYYi-a7Ty2CriNpiEdsF50AdRpiUr6RGp-G-Um2ocMTxWpA9ZpAO5Lq64gd-7zZiCot7bhULIDLsif5z9RUbMfHakqH9vFgggAvrVFyr2Rjz/s400/FreudMarx.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332755433017928834" /></a><div><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'm</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> in the fucking horrible process of detoxifying my body or whatever you wanna call it. in a few days, </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i'll</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> be driving to a place in desert hot springs called 'we care: a juice fasting and spiritual retreat'. even the name makes me gag. but, that doesn't seem to be stopping me.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">'we care' is THE place to go when you wanna pay a lot of money to be starved and given </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">colonics</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">. the detox process before going on my fast at 'we care' involves: no </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">caffeine</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">, no dairy, no nuts, bananas, grains, pasta, meat, cheese, processed food, </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">caffeine</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">, or </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">alcohol</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">. I'M DYING! i can barely write. seriously. i feel gutted and empty. last night i came home at like 4am, and posted the lamest shit. i blame 'we care'. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">here's what I CAN have: </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">*fruit, raw and steamed vegetables, juices, herb teas.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">*2 table spoons of olive oil before bedtime.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">*8 oz of prune juice in the morning and herbal </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">laxatives</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> or laxative teas nightly.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">um, why would i need a laxative? how many times can i say this: girls DON'T go to the bathroom. duh. bathrooms are for snorting cocaine, putting on makeup and gossiping with your girlfriends. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">my stomach is eating itself! this is why i could never and have never been able to be anorexic. but what really scares me is the fact that i am going to VOLUNTARILY let a stranger at 'we care' insert a tube in my bum to blast my colon with warm water. and then massage out the poison. NOT that i even HAVE a colon. </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">cuz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> girls don't do ANYTHING gross. ALL our holes are sewn up! except the </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">vadge</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> hole- of </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">course</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">! otherwise we'd be USELESS! well i guess the colonic lady's gonna have to rip out the seams, </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">cuz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> she's going in! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">NOOOOO</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i'm</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> scared. i just want to get it over with. i had to pay in advance. NOW this has become more a money thing than anything else. i WON'T have those 'we care' motherfuckers keep my money! my head is woozy. i miss coffee. it's only </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">been</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> three days! but </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i'm</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> not ashamed; i fucking LOVE coffee! it's all </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i've</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> got! i wake up for it. it makes me feel understood and taken care of. it totally completes me. that </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">starbucks</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> cup </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">isn</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">'</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">t just an epic drink, it's a goddamn fashion accessory.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">anywayzies</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">, back to my fear of the </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">colonics</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> that lurk in my future. </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i've</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> NEVER even had ANAL sex. if i do this, does it mean i HAVE had anal sex? or SHOULD? do i base my feeling on whether </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i'll</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> like anal sex on how i react when the lady puts the plastic rod, or whatever it's called, into my bum hole? oh no! what if it isn't a lady? i will NOT let a man see me like this! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i'll</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> just have to request a lady! what if all the garbage they </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">syphon</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> out of me doesn't even make me look thinner? if that's the case, will it really make me less toxic and healthier? is this whole thing a sham? probably. but a bum syphon</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">ing</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> and a few days of not eating CAN'T make me fatter. i did this to myself. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">here's a look at what i tried to pass off as an </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">alright</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> post yesterday. i apologize. it was superficial bullshit:</span></span></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIars_DpYzzFjRVzgn_q-9_bFxCW9ALMeFYhtUE6ZpUuPB_g3GVn4rrJRBoF9N91ABPOdApvZ2h1o-PYIN-5v7UmX8YkltWQWaiwOWJttuaPZ0utWRx-a7uiwmehu8OLO7V3OALflsrRK0/s1600-h/IMG_3745.JPG" style="text-decoration: none;"><img style="text-decoration: underline;display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIars_DpYzzFjRVzgn_q-9_bFxCW9ALMeFYhtUE6ZpUuPB_g3GVn4rrJRBoF9N91ABPOdApvZ2h1o-PYIN-5v7UmX8YkltWQWaiwOWJttuaPZ0utWRx-a7uiwmehu8OLO7V3OALflsrRK0/s400/IMG_3745.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332269163403008642" /></a><br /><object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4489535&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4489535&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/4489535"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">boycrazy</span> video- a message from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">kelly</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">luke</span>:</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/alexiwasser"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">alexi</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">wasser</span></a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Vimeo</span></a>.</p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">so, there was a party for nylon magazine last night. it's hard for me to get motivated to go out MOST of the time. i complain, try to talk myself out of it, get lazy, do surgery on my face so </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">i'd</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> be crazy to be seen in pubic. but not last night. last night i didn't give a fuck. tights, eyeliner, and out the door. i had pants and a shirt on too. but that's not the point. the point is, i had </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">boycrazy</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> stickers to hand out and beautiful boys to prey upon. and that's what i did.<br /><br />i ran into lots of beautiful people that i love seeing, and i even made some new friends. i danced to lady gaga. yeah. lady fucking gaga. i couldn't stop eye darting (that's when you're SUPPOSED to be focusing on the person you're talking to, but your eyes keep darting around the room </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">cuz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> you can't stop looking at what's going on around you). i hate when people do that to me, and here i was doing it too. but the party was too fucking crowded! i had to! </span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">a girls hair </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">caught</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> on fire, which i thought was epic. she ran off screaming after we put it out, totally ignoring me when i offered her a sticker. my mantra for the evening was 'free stickers for beautiful people.' where do i come up with this shit? </span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">the 'hills' was being shot at the party. i MIGHT even be an extra on the episode. DREAMS DO COME TRUE! i tried not to be, but my </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">friend</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">brooke</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> kept sitting at a banquet near the filming. what can you do? life is so hard! i was so confused! the hills was on </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">tv</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> during the party AND being filmed AT the party! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">wtf</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">? it's like that 'if a tree falls in the </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">forest</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">' saying or whatever.... </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">yowsers</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">! good thing i have </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">tivo</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">xo</span></span></span></p><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqVkI4aofW2GRvbcFhe5c_CkKfP31-dVmjQGeOzyEH68uivf960v7ZIoKV0ycLIfyCobsmaCfvhq8JHtSvlVq2cFjxmqX8YqJxv6pE4b_y6bpUSvMBUjS9UMVlqie6hxtCAwE8-W4maUqj/s1600-h/IMG_3750.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 340px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqVkI4aofW2GRvbcFhe5c_CkKfP31-dVmjQGeOzyEH68uivf960v7ZIoKV0ycLIfyCobsmaCfvhq8JHtSvlVq2cFjxmqX8YqJxv6pE4b_y6bpUSvMBUjS9UMVlqie6hxtCAwE8-W4maUqj/s400/IMG_3750.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332277410052438914" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">in these pix: 'the hills' being filmed like only a pretend reality show can be filmed!</span></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO-LPZRFhYc-jvMYMCZzdzQCG1YrwwObNWGdHaabhSoLOinSJNHWV67r_Of8Rgjg6kSNYRZZIkiIwpBmzdbq8EC5jueWWLYhEkB-F_hZKquYnKQE9WovtMHm8rLwFAwB5Nxq41v4Q1WuBq/s1600-h/IMG_3751.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiO-LPZRFhYc-jvMYMCZzdzQCG1YrwwObNWGdHaabhSoLOinSJNHWV67r_Of8Rgjg6kSNYRZZIkiIwpBmzdbq8EC5jueWWLYhEkB-F_hZKquYnKQE9WovtMHm8rLwFAwB5Nxq41v4Q1WuBq/s400/IMG_3751.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5332278396266372466" /></a>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-71805755203524421272009-05-04T07:00:00.000-07:002009-05-04T07:00:00.494-07:00firemen- a precurser to an intro to an expose:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9M1wlYg11usfxFJlhBL8uy502FpgVNDp5khIFCI-3Opy1mykbWcEK-aqaMSRQ7MZoWNf2zCrsx72nbX3_5zoppJ7aJbJqNhRDqm4bP2pQR1d4adkRED6dJagCn5miVY3tBH2mVPxtf16_/s1600-h/14vvPMLeKlzgakey9dyGWmwGo1_400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 264px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9M1wlYg11usfxFJlhBL8uy502FpgVNDp5khIFCI-3Opy1mykbWcEK-aqaMSRQ7MZoWNf2zCrsx72nbX3_5zoppJ7aJbJqNhRDqm4bP2pQR1d4adkRED6dJagCn5miVY3tBH2mVPxtf16_/s400/14vvPMLeKlzgakey9dyGWmwGo1_400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331866773199840210" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">so, the other day i was on the phone with my friend </span></span><a href="http://www.imsosuredude.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">jesse</span></span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. i had just walked out of the </span></span><a href="http://store.americanapparel.net/women.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">american</span> apparel</span></span></span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ventura</span> blvd and had A LOT of hot <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">goss</span> to spew. mid conversation, i walked past a parked fire truck. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">HMMMM</span>, where there's a fire truck, firemen are SURE to follow! there was no sign of a blazing inferno and a few steps further down the boulevard i hit </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">FIREMAN MECCA</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">! a table of fireman dudes having lunch! it was too good to be true. i didn't know what to do. i got nervous. i wanted to approach them, but i was too shy. my heart started beating faster than normal even! thank god for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">jesse's</span> words of encouragement: 'you have to do this dude. they're firemen! if anyone knows what to do, it's you.' she was right. i hung up the phone. (even though it's a blackberry and there was nothing to hang it on. that phrase just doesn't make sense anymore.) and took a deep breath.</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">KNOW</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">i'm</span> not the first to talk about how sexy firemen are. duh! this is OLD news that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">carrie</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">bradshaw's</span> already covered! but it's a cliche that's REAL and a stereotype i believe! firemen make you feel sexy and are super attractive even if </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">they</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">AREN'T</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> attractive or your </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">USUAL</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> type at all! i mean, the four people who read this probably find themselves with the skinny pale indie dude time and time again, and i get that! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">i've</span> lived that! i support that! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">i'm</span> totally a member of the 'i like dudes that could tip over if you bump into them/get questioned about their sexuality non stop.' so this is probably why my fascination with firemen is even more <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">crazers</span>. they don't have the 'band dude' vibe at all. my genetic coding says <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">i'm</span> not allowed to lust over a fireman dude....and yet i do. and it's not a crime. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">some of them look like ken doll/beef cake/meat heads. but in that red truck and that official uniform, the term beefcake becomes the most appealing thing in the world. oh shit, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">i'm</span> like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">samantha</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">jones</span> over here. but i can't stop!<br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i ALWAYS wave at fire men and they ALWAYS smile when i do. because they KNOW they're sexy. they KNOW they make girls w*t. they rescue people, they have muscles, and a paying job! <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">nuff</span> said! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">the following video doesn't even BEGIN to express the SERIOUSNESS of the sexual prowess of firemen! it's more just me saying: can you believe i stumbled upon a table full of firemen? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">kuh</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">razy</span>! soon, i will delve deeper and find a fire house to visit and interview the cutest of the beef head meat cakes or whatever! i love you. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">xo</span> </span></span><br /><object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4343147&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4343147&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/4343147"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">boycrazy</span> video- firemen rule:</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/alexiwasser"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">alexi</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">wasser</span></a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Vimeo</span></a>.</div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-22512935048910160272009-04-30T07:00:00.000-07:002009-04-30T07:00:00.268-07:00losing your virginity:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqaPEuqA4E49HhCyQD0EfgSF8B03fQybEmInUf6eKTd8dekcAJQSmsZkWbXUGk5lzD63y-S0MzYian-9uAuBWenq5UPC0vPs5SwOP1H5Q3nho8YkOmqF1zPrI_qcpjTQL8u5OfhPvGCuec/s1600-h/16CandlesBigPic.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqaPEuqA4E49HhCyQD0EfgSF8B03fQybEmInUf6eKTd8dekcAJQSmsZkWbXUGk5lzD63y-S0MzYian-9uAuBWenq5UPC0vPs5SwOP1H5Q3nho8YkOmqF1zPrI_qcpjTQL8u5OfhPvGCuec/s400/16CandlesBigPic.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330349745860047986" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">so, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I've</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> been getting A LOT of e-mails asking for </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">advice</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> on how to lose your virginity. e-mails from girls who are </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">between</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> the ages of 19 and 26 who are still virgins, asking me for </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">advice</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. i didn't </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">really</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> know how i could help or what i could say. so i gave it some thought and here's what i came up with:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">wanna lose your virginity? It's super easy! just spread your legs and place the dude's erect penis into your hopefully wet privates aka vagina. Super easy! Virginity GONE! What more do you need to know? </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh, sorry. you mean; how do you go about picking the right person? </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Getting</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> tested? Approaching a guy in the first place? Trusting him? Trusting yourself? Being brave and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">jumping</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> off the cliff into </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">sexdom</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">? '</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">sexdom</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">'? Sometimes I write shit and I say to myself "who are you? Why did you write that? you're totally misrepresenting yourself." But then I shrug and keep writing. My style is more stream of </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">consciousness</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. I just have to keep going or else I'll panic, over think and stop writing all together. Feel free to use this as an analogy regarding your sex life and losing your virginity. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What else is it called? Popping your cherry? Gross. </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Anywayzies</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">. It's a big deal </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">cuz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> you'll ALWAYS remember the first person you ever let inside you, but you probably won't be marrying this person. They are a stop on your life's path! A memory. A hurdle to jump over. a tool used for growing up. Just make sure he doesn't have herpes, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">gonorrhea</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, warts, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">chlamydia</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">hpv</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">, and </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">isn't</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">HIV</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> +. </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">cuz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> that </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">shiz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> will haunt you </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">forevs</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Listen, it's pretty cool you've waited this long. (</span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i'm</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> talking more to the 19 year old. 26 is bordering on tragic heap.) It means you're nervous, thinking about it, and take yourself seriously. So since you've waited this long, you shouldn't be worried about waiting a teeny bit longer for you and the dude to get tested. Don't pick up some random guy off the street or some mall dude over the weekend. (any other time, that would be cool- but not to take your virgin status!) If you're in high school or college, there are tons of dudes. All aching to get in some girls </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">vadge</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">! Duh! Don't forget, YOU have the power! your </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">vadge</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> is- to a guys dick- like the entry way into some exclusive </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Hollywood</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> club! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Maybe you should lose it to a close heterosexual male friend you have that you never really looked at that way. Like </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">dawson's</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> creek styles! It would be COOLER if he's more </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">experienced</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> than you too! Then you could ask him questions about giving blow jobs and stuff. giving a great blow job is a beautiful and powerful thing. haters, you can hate, but it's the truth. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">let him go down on you too! don't let him stop until you cum. Take a bath first so you're all scrubbed up and clean- so there's no room for </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">embarrassment</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> or self </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">consciousness</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">! and I'm praying to GOD you've been </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">masturbating</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> long enough to even KNOW what an orgasm feels like! It's like a warm </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">tickley</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> explosion in your nether regions! Make it a familiar feeling! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">How's that? I can't hold your hand through this, but I can leave u with this: Have sex (whether it's the first time or the millionth time) with someone you trust, who makes you feel safe. and ALWAYS use a condom. AND even though he's wearing a condom, make sure he pulls out before he cums! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Cuz</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> condom's break and if something goes wrong- </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">unfortunately</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> it's on the girl to take the morning after pill, get an abortion or HAVE the baby! So, take care of </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">yourselves</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> beautiful girls! </span></span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Xoxoxo</span></span></span><br /></div></div></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-81924649223467284852009-04-29T04:30:00.000-07:002009-04-29T04:30:00.607-07:00sex in a subaru:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzK5rMNRhbFPdhHgoU14sdlf4XfzexmQESST1i0vcOvfSY8bNGvvhMFABBnYP-ASo3Kd2T_LYJ08GPJVdLJTbva0oN2AI-A58fElTgG9zYRpwsJW1rSkN9jOYx2Dzk-TLFqU0oWawWSMJP/s1600-h/blanc_448b0e2b3f76b.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 303px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzK5rMNRhbFPdhHgoU14sdlf4XfzexmQESST1i0vcOvfSY8bNGvvhMFABBnYP-ASo3Kd2T_LYJ08GPJVdLJTbva0oN2AI-A58fElTgG9zYRpwsJW1rSkN9jOYx2Dzk-TLFqU0oWawWSMJP/s400/blanc_448b0e2b3f76b.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330001530471455906" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">the other night I went on a date with a dude. we met up at real food daily; a vegan restaurant on la <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">cienega</span>. I still prefer m cafe-but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">whatevs</span>! I'm not gonna slit my wrists or anything. I just LOVE it when straight dudes like to eat healthy! We finished our food, and I got in his car so we could drive to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">erewhon</span> market to get dessert. we sat outside sharing raw vegan ice cream and a piece of cake (it was actually pie, but i think the word cake is so much cuter) and continued our hangout <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">sesh</span>. we liked <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">eachother</span>. i just know it. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">We got BACK in his car and headed towards RFD- where MY car waited. but somehow we ended up in the parking lot of norms; a coffee shop up the street from RFD. We sat in silence looking at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">eachother</span>. he leaned in. I leaned in, tilted my head to the right and we kissed. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">All I could think was "oh my god, it's like 11<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">th</span> grade all over again!" And "wait a minute, this parking lot is WAY too bright to have sex." And "oh shit, am I about to get finger banged? Do people still do that? Am I ready to backtrack like that? Are his fingernails encrusted in filth? Did he wash his hands? Do I really want to be associated with finger banging at this point in my life? It's 2009 for gods sake! Oh fuck it, fuck it. This dude can finger bang the shit outta me if he wants! Tonight I will be the mayor of finger banged city." FYI: This was all going on in the privacy of my mind! What a horrible phrase <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">btw</span>: 'finger bang'. I'm writing it over and over just to free myself of any power it might have to make me feel uncomfortable or low brow. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">all this internal <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">jibber</span> jabber, and the dude totally did NOT even put his finger in my privates! INSTEAD, the dude and I kept kissing. sometimes hard and fast. sometimes very slow and soft. ALWAYS charged with meaning. It's like I was feeling lips for the first time. Hyper aware of what it feels like to kiss. it was as dirty as sex. revealing and vulnerable. this 'sensual'(gag) kissing required time to be taken and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">technique</span>. Thank god I slowed down and stopped being as rough and passionate as i CAN be, or else i would have missed the entire experience! i can be soft and tender too! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yuck, this post is even grossing ME out. HOW are YOU guys doing? hang in there. We stopped kissing, looked at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">eachother</span>, and said nothing. he started the car and pulled into another empty lot across the street. but this lot was dark enough to be naughty in. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">He got on top of me, and well.....did lots of stuff. he did ALL the BEST stuff. but the point of the story is this: I couldn't believe how conducive his car was for EPIC f**king! It was a Subaru. who knew? understated. reliable. disguising itself as a family car. close to the ground. Wide enough not to feel claustrophobic. cushy leather seats, plush against my skin. plenty of things to grip onto, allowing me to switch it up and hold myself in various positions. What a night! What a date! And what a car! i love you.</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-91166153777564849272009-04-28T07:00:00.000-07:002009-04-28T07:00:00.231-07:00the blind leading the blind PART 6:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiimek_wEjNqiT1x2Gk4MbFj_QsOJBGuroGsnyA5lr1PxKAtJnva2PFcbqU__iDppVJZxIwZ4511HfqJTzPtQyiraC0iwE4Ve4a7bbQB7qQJNsFFZFsrNa4HxzewPZqpKiTDWk42myxQPXx/s1600-h/6a00d8341f034953ef00e54f44bfb58834-640wi.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 302px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiimek_wEjNqiT1x2Gk4MbFj_QsOJBGuroGsnyA5lr1PxKAtJnva2PFcbqU__iDppVJZxIwZ4511HfqJTzPtQyiraC0iwE4Ve4a7bbQB7qQJNsFFZFsrNa4HxzewPZqpKiTDWk42myxQPXx/s400/6a00d8341f034953ef00e54f44bfb58834-640wi.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329680344877714114" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">1. on a date, order mint tea, instead of the sugary chai late you'd rather drink! you'll look way more fem and alluring! you might even lose a pound! PRIVACY is for bloating; NOT dates in public!</span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">2. if you read a blog and it pisses you off, stop reading it. if you continue to read it, get upset, and comment like a raving lunatic- it means the following: you are a fucking retarded waster of time! on the other hand, if reading a blog makes you happy and entertains you, go right ahead!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">3. the phrase is: "couldn't care less"! NOT, "could care less"! for example: "i hate my ex boyfriend so much, i COULDN'T care less if he fucked another girl!" the point is, you care SO LITTLE, you can't possibly care any less than you already do. this phrase is misused all the time. i think beyonce even used it incorrectly in her last single. such a bummer. in a perfect world I'd like to believe that everything beyonce does is right! but, that's simply not true.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">4. if you get everything waxed off your privates, don't go running errands around town in a mini skirt. you're vagina can't be trusted and discharge could fly out of it at any moment. without hair OR undies to prevent this from happening, you could have an uuber embarrassing accident while looking for soup on the top shelf of aisle six in the super market and there's a stock boy below you, restocking soup cans. <br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">5. Jesus, what was # 4 all about? that was random, riiiight???</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'courier new';font-size:19px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">6. when dealing with perfume, spray once and glide through it like the angel that you are. too much perfume could ruin your chances/induce a hard off with the boy of your dreams AND/OR even the dirtiest of the long haired, broke, sexy dudes who hang out in dark corners of pianos/little joy/the short stop (insert hair shaker bar here) with five o'clock shadow, a drug & cigarette addiction- who you don't even want a relationship with;just a casual sex sesh, where hopefully no one gets gonorrhea! so, one spritz please. less is more.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">7. if he doesn't go down on you; he doesn't get inside of you.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">8. don't forget to have sex in cars this summer. tinted windows or not, cars are awesome cuz there are lots of things to grip onto. and the possibility of getting caught is kind of sexy too, I'm not gonna lie.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">9. if you're over 25 (male or female), not religious, still a virgin and don't want to be......I'll be over in 10 minutes. jk, jk: but, seriously, go to whole foods/trader joes/the 101 cafe/the arclight/m cafe and hit on the next hot babe you see. power moves could change your life! good luck. and try not to get aids.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">10. if he only texts back to your phone calls, move on. you're better than that. i love you.</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-32265519844875214002009-04-27T07:00:00.000-07:002009-04-27T11:37:06.026-07:00meet the FACE HUNTER!!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1nbvTWKmY0UIKxd1Dhdu4_-PyvilMVFm1tPLMgQXiZbdtZ7dbzQTbyz3_tLrquRAOZl8r7Uf0DW3oWKp9KKLSgX5skwe0bbzLYcyVY9E-9mDzJRULQeY-G8CbS5MyOYGRLgTcKutsTk0h/s1600-h/n728355561_5806612_3757.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1nbvTWKmY0UIKxd1Dhdu4_-PyvilMVFm1tPLMgQXiZbdtZ7dbzQTbyz3_tLrquRAOZl8r7Uf0DW3oWKp9KKLSgX5skwe0bbzLYcyVY9E-9mDzJRULQeY-G8CbS5MyOYGRLgTcKutsTk0h/s400/n728355561_5806612_3757.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329101434252846802" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">meet <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=728355561"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">yvan rodic</span></span></a> AKA the <span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><a href="http://facehunter.blogspot.com/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">face hunter</span></span></a></span></span>. i did! and the entire experience was awesome! he's a blogger too(except he has a way bigger following than me), he's a boy, and he takes pictures of interesting faces that he finds all around the world. he also has an <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thefacehuntershow"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Internet TV show</span></span></a> even!!!<br /><br />he's part Serbian, part Swiss and now lives in London. he speaks English, french, German, some Serbian and Swedish. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'courier new';"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">yvan was recently in the states for a few weeks- passing through Los Angeles after going to coachella! <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://imboycrazy.com/2009/03/my-new-friend-rickey-kim.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Rickey Kim</span></a></span> put us in touch and yvan and i interviewed eachother/cross blogged by the light installation outside <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><a href="http://www.lacma.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 102, 102);">LACMA</span></a></span>! it was a beautiful setting for a fist time meet. i recommend it to anyone who has an upcoming blind date and no idea where to rendezvous!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicBk5-jHg2MdDgsjBwHVncPPEXI6JRuV7QrFMImKF8HYOnn0zp4YaLWIMN-S95m8UwSYZgxO45gg9QeOtq6MVXCHTY69Z8ZTN4xvFCiG-qIaArapWlafL8cDO3w3IXISEF8wEX4rLgzoUQ/s1600-h/lacma.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 265px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicBk5-jHg2MdDgsjBwHVncPPEXI6JRuV7QrFMImKF8HYOnn0zp4YaLWIMN-S95m8UwSYZgxO45gg9QeOtq6MVXCHTY69Z8ZTN4xvFCiG-qIaArapWlafL8cDO3w3IXISEF8wEX4rLgzoUQ/s400/lacma.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329101648429132818" /></a>check out this very candid interview yvan granted me; where we talk about monogamy, privates, relationships, french, and love. ALL from a boys perspective! he even has a neato accent that will enchant all the girlies who are sick of the usual American accent they can find from any Starbucks or mall guy they meet in their boring home town. pow! check it out:</span></span><br /><object width="400" height="300"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4342163&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4342163&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://vimeo.com/4342163">boycrazy meets the Face Hunter:</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/alexiwasser">alexi wasser</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2088055341086550290.post-67654565448708737912009-04-22T07:00:00.000-07:002009-04-22T12:13:37.830-07:00it's important you like his friends:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD9WHK-crTyL0DyEsilnhLur3OtQZWEyOWKoHlq1MXU9VwN4mfkRg5gmam-AbalFp9P_04NaOatgqLcdwZ5Q9lrbIAWwyfoGDAgLFLGAPYg24ogDh-PQlZaORxYv58RuUd_PSTJ08hGv3S/s1600-h/hc6-600x400.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD9WHK-crTyL0DyEsilnhLur3OtQZWEyOWKoHlq1MXU9VwN4mfkRg5gmam-AbalFp9P_04NaOatgqLcdwZ5Q9lrbIAWwyfoGDAgLFLGAPYg24ogDh-PQlZaORxYv58RuUd_PSTJ08hGv3S/s400/hc6-600x400.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5326119048515616034" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">So, you managed to fall in love! that's AWESOME! CONGRATULATIONS! you're euphoric. the sex is beautiful. you make extreme eye contact when he's deep inside you. he inspires you to be brave and take over the world. you can look at </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">eachother</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> and know exactly what the other is thinking, without saying a word. you laugh SO HARD at the exact same things, it's like you're little kids again! tickle fights ensue and you want to hug him/SQUEEZE him </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">sooo</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> tight and never let go, </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">cuz</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> you can't believe you've found the LOVE of your life..........AND THEN YOU MEET HIS ASSHOLE FRIENDS! epic love story RUINED!<br /><br />after i broke up with my ex, every once in a while i thought about getting back together with him. maybe </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'd</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> just suck it up and get married and pretend nothing bad every happened between us. i thought, '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'll</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> just accept his flaws, hope he accepts mine, and this will be our life.' but SOMETHING always popped up. something that love and growing up and therapy could never </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">change</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">: I HATE HIS BROTHER. </span></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">my ex and his brother are in a band together. they have a bizarre love hate relationship. a '</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">bromance</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">' if you will. but one that is SUPER dysfunctional. NOTHING like Brody and Freddy's relationship on the hills! THOSE guys are TOTALLY functional. this is more along the lines of Brody and Spencer's relationship; but WAY darker and angry/broody styles).<br /><br />from the first time i met my </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">ex's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> brother (i remember it as if it was yesterday) it was at the beauty bar on C</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">ahuenga</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">. it was loud. i REALLY wanted him to like me and i immediately put my foot in my mouth; saying something about his parents not being together and my parents not being together. i guess i was trying to show that i could totally relate to his </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">childhood</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> or whatever? who knows? i blew it. but i didn't think THAT was gonna be my only shot!</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">he got pulled into another conversation and i never got to explain what i meant/what i was TRYING</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">to say: that i was a good person who had a huge crush on his brother. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">i wonder if the mean bro even remembers ANY of this. but from then on, it was a downward spiral. see how wanting people to like you only bites you in the ass and makes you look lame?! I'm exhibit A! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br />as my relationship progressed (it lasted 5 years), i was always a bit nervous around mean bro. mean </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">bro's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> silent gaze/aloof nature made me feel super duper uncomfortable. and because of the fact that boyfriend and mean bro were in a band together, it was nearly impossible to escape being near him. SHIT! at shows, on the tour bus, planes, traveling, parties. bf, mean bro, and me. i would even hang out with </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">MB's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> girlfriend every now and then. (</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">because</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> we were the girlfriend, we got lumped together when the band had band stuff to attend to. it's in the how to be a band dude's </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">girlfriend</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> rulebook.)she's lovely. even now i have a place for her in my heart. i ALSO got along with their mom and other brothers too! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHY WAS THIS SO HARD? <br /><br />the MAIN problem was the relationship between my boyfriend and his brother. THEY were caustic. They were opposites who worked together. my bf liked to argue and be a brat with his self righteousness that buried itself deep down into peoples (and more importantly- his brothers) skin. i became an extension of my bf to the mean bro. i was never looked at or spoken to as if i were my own person. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">as the years went by, mean </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">bro's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> drug addiction made him even more unlikable, and removed any possibility of us making peace. why did i need his validation so badly? why do i still think about him? because i don't like unresolved issues in my life! I'm brazen and would rather get everything on the table and work it out. mean bro HATED confrontation! </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">they were Australian. i always felt his hatred of American culture and I was the ultimate American! a loud, opinionated, obnoxious woman. what a nightmare for him. I say things like, "oh my god! NO WAY! totally!" (my staple phrases at any given moment.) but when i said these things around him (or even laugh to hard) </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'd</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> echo in my ears because </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">I'd</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> catch him imitating me to others, ignore me, and be nicer than i EVER saw him be- to complete strangers, but never to ME.</span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">recently, long since I'd broken up with my ex, mean </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">bro's</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> girlfriend e-mailed me. she wrote to check in on me, to apologize for MB'S behavior towards me and to try to explain it. i told you she was a sweetheart! but i still want an apology from him. or at least some resolution. from mean bro directly! but that may never happen. and it shouldn't matter to me if it does or doesn't. he has no power over me. that </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">labyrinth</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> saying works in ANY situation!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">that time in my life is over now. i never have to see my ex OR his meanie pants brother if i don't want to. however, what i DO take away from this whole scenario is how THANKFUL i am when i </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">DO</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> meet a guy who fits </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">ALL</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> the epic criteria i mentioned in the first paragraph </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">AND</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> i </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">ACTUALLY LOVE</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">ALL</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> the people (friends AND family) in his life. it's a big fucking deal,</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">cuz</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';"> that toxic bullshit can MAKE or BREAK your relationship! </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'courier new';">xo</span></span></div>boycrazyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05574712418378207898noreply@blogger.com15