i’m not too proud to beg:

SonnyMax

this is sonny! sonny and i clearly started out on the wrong foot! we met at a super casual/yet uuber chic dinner party – where he was instantly snarky with me! with every question i asked him, i got an answer that in no way resembled the truth. but, being the people pleaser that i am – riddled with daddy issues and a severe NEED to be liked (THANK GOD) i went out of my way to match his bravado, and yell at him until he had no choice but to love me AND my b l o g (or at least agree to MAYBE read it one day)!

now, not only do i think the dude’s great, but i’m an even BIGGER fan of his super awesome girlfriend! they might just be the best couple ever! pow! bam! boom! check out sonny’s crazy amazers (that’s my personal slang for ‘rad’) show at space 1520 UP NOW! don’t be a retarded monster and miss it! it could be the perfect outing for a date! i love you!

begging a dude to read my blog: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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this is getting sad:

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sometimes ALL you have is your computer and a fantasy/daydream! the dude you like TOTALLY isn’t calling you- so you’re left googling the shit out of him. i get it! it’s fine. we’ve all done it. we’ve all been there. but this isn’t real. just because Susan miller’s astrology website tells you that his being a Libra and you being an Aquarius is a perfect match, DOESN’T mean your love life is gonna be tied up in a bow! i think you should go on a long walk. i really do. you need some fresh air- you’re having a freak-out. stop refreshing your facebook and twitter pages! no one’s sent you a new message. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news/voice of reason and second grade logic that still holds up.

go outside and talk to a real person. wait till the dude you’ve got in your minds eye ACTUALLY calls you, or a close second, texts you. and if he DOES try to reach you, via twitter or the face book (which i personally feel is a dick AND pussy move)- I’m sure it will alert your blackberry I phone or whatever, so you don’t have to be glued to your desk waiting! move about the world. it’s good for you. i love you. xo

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the blind leading the blind (part 21):

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1. if you like a girl, just call her. please CALL her.

2. if you like a boy, DON’T call him. Let him call YOU!

3. don’t wait for the phone to ring. you should be juggling men, reading a book, going to the gym, and working towards taking over the world ALL AT ONCE!

4. Hey m cafe- how about you take the raw onions out of the kale salad. What are you trying to do, ruin my life?!

5. only make out with boys who have been on Oprah or have an extensive wikipedia page.

6. nobody likes a star fucker.

7. NEVER obsess over a dude – whether you’re in a relationship OR single.

8. here’s a secret: everyone comes out of a vagina-unless they were removed via c section OR a mistaken miscarriage that swam to the surface of the toilet bowl or carpet it landed in. So don’t let someone make you feel less then, OR not as good as them. Unless they ARE better-cuz that does happen sometimes too. Sorry.

9. don’t talk shit. it’s just a good habit to break! ESPECIALLY if you don’t mean it. cuz even if you DON’T talk shit, I’m sure some asshole out there is saying you said something that you didn’t. and if you DO talk shit – people talk and it will get back to the person you’re ragging on. yeah RAGGING!

10. DUDES: if you WANT to be celibate, you don’t HAVE to grow a goatee! but it will definitely help!

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SHORT FILM #5. BOYCRAZY BIKINI MISHAP:

boycrazy bikini mishap: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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SHORT FILM #4. WAKING UP IN ECHO PARK:

boycrazy waking up in echo park from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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SHORT FILM #3. BOYCRAZY GETS A JOB:

boycrazy gets a job: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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SHORT FILM #2. BOYCRAZY AT THE DRUGSTORE:

boycrazy at the drugstore: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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SHORT FILM #1. BOYCRAZY IN BED:

boycrazy in bed from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

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dude of the day!!!

yes! it’s been too long! here’s today’s ‘dude of the day‘!

hello! Hi. Have you two met? Oh, no? Well allow me to introduce you to the sexiest dude in the ENTIRE world! during this interview, i was totally off my game. who am i kidding? I’m ALWAYS off my game! jk jk! i am NOT trying to promote self hating or whatevs on this site! so let’s leave the negativity at the door! wheeeee! is everyone cool with the fact that i’ve taken on the writing style of a pedophile about to murder a classroom of stuffed animals? i hope so! cuz i’m just getting started!

back to the dude at hand: I was unable to be as witty as I KNOW I could have been during the interview, so forgive me! But I hope you enjoy the video anywayzies! I love you! Xo

ps: EVERYONE! please check out my friend dallas clayton’s very important site that i’m totally in awe and proud of http://www.veryawesomeworld.com . it just might be the best thing you click on ALL day (except for my blog…maybe a close tie?) i love you!

pps: thank you sooo much to THE FADER magazine for supporting my blog and writing this amazing article in the actual magazine AND posting the same article AND my boycrazy promo on your website too! it made me the happiest girl in the world! i love you! xo

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PART 2 – the things we do to keep from being alone:

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sometimes you just want to cum. but what’s better? masturbating or basically being licked/jerked off by some disconnected stranger? is it better to just be alone when you’re not looking or even wanting to be in love/a serious relationship? or is that the perfect time to mess around with someone who shares this same mentality: night time sexy rendezvous, and then focusing on work the next day? this ACTUALLY does sound possible and logical and male.

whether it’s my female emotions, or just my ego getting bruised – I’d like to not be so sensitive. i have too much work to do to dwell and make extra drama for myself- wondering if a dude i don’t even like, that i wouldn’t even want as my bf, is gonna call! a dude I’m probably only drawn to because his finger was inside of me and he smells like man? because i invested my time and energy and revealed myself to a dude, and i’m stuck on him ONLY because i don’t want to spread myself too thin revealing myself, exposing myself, making certain faces, and being naked in front of someone else? it doesn’t make any sense! it’s ego! but it is more than that too.

my very blunt and direct male platonic friend ALSO told me that just because a guy doesn’t fall in love with you or wanna marry you or be your boyfriend- doesn’t mean he can’t/doesn’t think you’re special. personally, I’m learning that I need someone to respect me, be intrigued by me, and at least meet me out in public and take me to drinks (shirley temples) before I have an epic make-out romp. I learned this the hard way- which still felt pretty good. on second thought though, i think i could handle just a physical thing. clearly this has taught you nothing except that i’m confused and working shit out. regardless, whatever you, or i end up doing- always use protection! i love you.

ps: a girl reader wrote to me and said that i should ‘fling till i fall in love’. whch i totally agree with! that’s the thing: if i know one thing, it’s that I’m totally open to love. I’m not desperate to be in a relationship. But I’m also excited about when, where, and how my next love will come to me! I’m not bitter or jaded! Xo

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