valentine's wishes and birthday fantasies:

If i had birthdays, which i don't, but let's face it-i DO: it would be next week on Wednesday February 11. my birthday is tricky because it's super crazy close to valentine's day. so this can be stressful, IF I'm even dating a guy around this time. so to make things easy for the lucky dude who ends up inside me on one or both of those days, let me break it down.

MY IDEAL BEST BIRTHDAY/VALENTINE'S DAY/WEEK EVER!:

General goal for everyday this week- I wake up well rested, with no crazy grand expectations and in the best mood ever. I put on a super casual, but very nice, brand new outfit and black thin strap havianas (it's ok for girls to wear flip flops). i go on a long walk, have lunch at m cafe, dinner at m cafe, do karaoke (this might be too hectic though), have sex 4 to 6 times a day. Oral sex and an orgasm count if the dude is only able to fuck me 3 times. But I will need full penetration at LEAST three times.

A movie or two at the arclight. (all of this is paid for by the dude, with absolutely no complaints...ok, he can be silly about my financial expectations of him. as long as we're cuddling, kissing in public, holding hands etc.) 

I'd like to have a general childlike glee the ENTIRE week. even if the said dude is working during the day, I'd still like to cuddle and wrestle. lots of tickling, laughing (natural- NOT forced) and maybe walk around holding hands to whole foods at night. or at least wrestling and laughing while having intimate chats about life, friends, and whatever is in each other's head! i love talking, a lot of men don't. during MY week, I'd like the talky side of the dude to be shown! it's in there! let it out! you'll feel better. 

so, again, just to make it simple: 

Wednesday night-dinner at m AND movie. 

Friday night: dinner at m cafe, we can play scrabble if you want to.(oh whoops, if you're working-scrabble at m can be moved to Saturday).i WILL eat desserts on this scrabble sesh night. ONLY desserts from m, cuz they're vegan and it's valentines. however, let's both not eat too much, cuz i don't want the possibility of candlelit sex with music on in the background to be ruined. 

please make sure your place is not a cesspool. i am a woman. i am sexy. i wanna give and get head. don't ruin my week. please pretend you like giving head as much as i like giving it AND getting it. personally, i think it's unfair to only go down on a girl via 69. it makes you seem selfish. I'm NOT ruling out the 69, i love it. i just want you to go down on me the old fashioned way too! and with me above you, as this is an awesome arm workout for me. and then, we'll totally get to the 69. after all, let's face it, I'm a dirty bitch. who said that? not me. yes,ok,it was me. what?! 

i also love white roses, red roses, tulips. use your imagination, but don't get me anything but what i just mentioned. no chocolates. trying to get me fat and upset my stomach will not make me love you. on Saturday and Sunday, a bike ride could be fun. and a walk to 3rd st promenade holding hands, arms intertwined, chasing each other, laughing, smiling really big! again, very kid like and childhood'esque. oh yeah, make sure your car isn't all sticky and sandy and gross. if it's as spotless as your house SHOULD be, we can have sex in your car too. i bought a lot of sexy lingerie. garters, black lace, peach lace. I'm gonna be set and sexy. so don't fuck this up. it wouldn't kill you to wear a slick outfit either(adios sweatshirts).and please bathe, cuz it's gonna get nasty. 

also, validate my neurosis in case i happen to feel weak that day. reassure me. love me. let me know what you THINK i know. cuz i probably don't! I'm a messed up woman. why the fuck do you think i have a blog called "imboycrazy"? i have daddy issues (me and a million other girls)BOO HOO ME! WAHHH! BARF! BUT, this doesn't mean these issues don't affect me. but ultimately, I'm VERY happy!! again, DON'T fuck that up for me. did i mention this is my week? cuz it is. 

so, yeah, like i said, a walk around 3rd st promenade? Coffee at Starbucks like 3 times! some serious movies. some light movies, just to be casual- i.e. "He's just not that into u" and some others. Maybe a scary movie. "shopaholic" on valentines day? isla fisher is very likable. so there you go. are you as excited as i am? xo