the boy at the casting:

now this kid truly shocked me and i'll tell you why: i was at some casting for a commercial and i saw him sitting on the floor looking all emo and shit and i thought we'd totally 'get' eachother! like the brother i never had! two crazy big eyed kooks lounging on labrea. man was i wrong! when i asked this dude if i could interview him for my b**g, he said he'd have to call his agent first...AND HE WASN'T FUCKING KIDDING! i started laughing because it was hilarious how serious he took himself. i tried to break it down for him by saying, 'no, seriously dude. this really isn't a big deal. i bet you a million bucks your agent will be happy you DON'T call him! honestly, this is a blog called I'm boy crazy; no one's gonna get hurt. for serious.' FINALLY he agreed and i pulled out my camera. thanks for saying yes lil guy! but you can't blame me for giving you shit! xo

the boy at the casting: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the boys of american apparel:

he's sexy, english AND the manager of the melrose AMERICAN APPAREL! excuse me?! does it get any better?! hear him speak, watch his lips move as they enunciate basic thoughts and ideas that make you quiver just cuz he's soooo cute! THEN go find him for yourself and ask him on a date! he's gorge!!!! that's slang for the word GORGEOUS!!!! seriously. notice how weird my voice sounds during the interview, THAT'S HOW NERVOUS I WAS TALKING TO HIM! ALL BECAUSE OF HIS DARK, BROODING INTENSITY! need i say more? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, just watch the video already! xoxo


the boys of american apparel #3: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

i'm sick and here's why:

the other day i asked a close girlfriend of mine if she ever WONDERS if her boyfriends friends are in love with her. she said "of course! doesn't everybody?" 

"no, i don't think so. do you ever ASK your boyfriend if his friends might love you?"

"fuck no! " she said.

i guess that's where her and i are different. i like to ASK the dude i'm dating if they think it's possible their friend might be in love with me. If it's a possibility. If they WOULD if they COULD. i ask with no regard for his feelings. i guess sometimes i forget that men have feelings too.

I'll phrase it in a really fucked up way. Masked in a pseudo, 'I'm trying to be cute and silly and off the cuff kind of bullshit way', that usually (if the guy's not a moron) can see through like a glass panel. And you know what? I mean it when i'm asking it! it's not a joke! And they know it! But through that glass panel, is what? A very insecure, needy, young woman. 

i have a serious problem, in that I am sick and twisted. I need way too much validation. Not all the time. surprisingly, i have pockets of time where I am completely centered, grounded, focused and filled with inner strength; when I know who I am and no one can shake me. when I COULDN'T care less if someone liked me/ loved me/ hated me.

And then there are the times I fall into the OTHER pocket.  a sick and twisted fantasy world trance. When this happens, I am a weak monster whose greatest enemy is herself. I am capable of hurting not just my own feelings. 

During my five year relationship- the highs were high, but the lows were heavy and low. Like your heart dropping into your stomach. It was a codependent emotional roller coaster. I loved it. I was addicted to it. 

Coming out of that, I notice certain behavioral problems that have stuck with me. Behavior that I've taken from that train wreck. The truth is, I'm pretty sure I brought that behavior into the relationship to begin with. and mixed with HIS demons, we were KUH-RAZY together. 

But today is a new day and I wanted to talk/write about a habit of mine that I still have and one that I know I have to break-otherwise it will be one of my ultimate downfalls. it will sabotage me/take me down:  I need everyone to love me. Not really, but kind of. 

I'll get specific, because that might speak to more people. 

once upon a time, i met a boy and he was great with me, for me. We right eachothers wrongs. We complimented eachother. And he had many guy friends. One of these friends was going through a hard time with his girlfriend or ex or whatever she was. he was searching for his purpose, wanting his life to be fulfilling, wanting to be happy and not so aimless. 

For whatever reason, I felt the need to get under this guy friends skin. My guy (aka: the RIGHT guy) left town and because I've never been so addicted to instant gratification and attention in my life- even via JUST a standard test message; i became obsessed with the friend. Aka: the charmer. he took the burden off the RIGHT guy. filling my quota of attention! like a babysitter for a needy monster baby! 

Texting, phone calls and several platonic hang outs. I am a flirt, he's a flirt and we're both charming people pleasers. I didn't feel at ease around him. Never 100 percent cuz he made me so nervous. Maybe because he represented a path- one that, if I took (ie-make out,sexy times, etc), everything with the RIGHT guy would be ruined. 

The danger intrigued me. Made my heart beat faster and break out in a cold sweat. Like a high. How sick is that? The fact that he made out with another girl made me jealous. How sick is that? I had hugged him before and I didn't even really care for the smell of his skin- so what the fuck was my deal?  This wasn't even a case of 'the pheromones'! He was bad news, wrong for me, not right, too confused to be good for me- even as a friend. And yet I nearly jeopardized everything with the RIGHT guy?! Wtf? 

I saw so many similarities between us. I wanted to be his life coach. I wanted him to think I was the best. The only person who could make him feel safe. I wanted him to look at me and think: "she see's me". 

He drinks and he spends a bit too much time (if you ask me) "hanging out". I thought he should try to take over the world with his wit and charm etc and at least try to make a contribution some way, some how. But why did I care? Why did I have the urge to take a person on as a project and become so addicted to someone? Am I just a fucking monster control freak? Making him my toy? My play thing to fuck with? Who knew if he was even really talented or had as much promise as I projected on him? It was really none of my business. 

And because he's a boy and I'm a girl- there was sexual tension. Which I appreciated cuz I LOVE attention. Even though I have the BEST sex in the world with the RIGHT guy, I'm more attracted physically to the RIGHT guy, I'm inspired by and respect the right guy. But now, the cavalier charmer, so lost in his aimlessness, was in my radar. 

the sickest part is: my logic told me to get away from the charmer; to TRY to stop obsessing. But the another part of me wanted him to miss me, lust over me, wishing we could be together- all the while, me holding the power, looking to him and saying "I'm sooo sorry. I know you're miserable. But you can't have me. I belong to another." I wanted a guy that I DIDN'T want to be with- to be in love with me!!!

My therapist said this has NOTHING to do with the charmer and that it has to do with deep rooted shit that I went through as a child. something about my dad not saying he loved me enough.  being a child of chaos. Blah blah blah. She said that the charmer and I trauma bonded and that I need to go to alanon meetings. that I should only hang out with the charmer in groups. that i am the child of narcissists and make it my job to size people up (generally of the male species) and figure out in an instant what game to play to make them love me. she recommended i read several books. i was too scared to tell her i can't read. oh wait, yes i can. sorry. tried to lighten up this post with a joke. so 'like me'. deflecting real life with a joke! the books are: "trapped in the mirror" (by: elan golomb) and "addiction to love" (by: susan peabody). i love mirrors, attention, addiction, love and myself...so i totally plan on buying ALL these books. hopefully i'll READ them too!

now I think this whole thing is water under the bridge. that it's possible for the charmer and me to be bff's and maybe even business partners (if he ever figures out what he wants to do. IF we ever talk again.)

But maybe that's just the sick part of me talking again. maybe I just need drama and chaos to stir the pot, cuz when everything's PERFECT......... I get uneasy. xoxoox

in from outta town:

boycrazy interview: in from outta town- from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

my new friend rickey kim:

MEET RICKEY KIM: he's the managing editor of the LA 944 magazine, a go getter, non stop do'er, blogger, hustler, collaborator and innovative thinker. somehow, someway- we met over the interweb and three days later we met up at m cafe to blog about eachother. 

he's a fan of my site and i'm just a fan of his whole deal! 

great style AND he likes my blog??? 'nuff said! I'M SOLD! this dude is CLEARLY a winner!!!!

check out all things rickey kim: his blog- mr.kim says , his online academic journal- evil monito and the magazine he runs 944.

if you'd rather not, do me a favor and punch yourself in the face. i'm not fucking around here! and NEITHER IS MR. KIM!!!

here's the interview with the man, the myth, the legend......RICKEY KIM! 

nice to meet you mister! xoxo 

ps: click HERE to contact rickey directly. ask him out, tell him how cute he is, or just request his friendship you coward!

boycrazy video- my new friend rickey kim: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

my kxlu experience:

this past friday, i paid a visit to kxlu 88.9fm los angeles. i was asked to be a guest on a program called demolisten, hosted by octavius and fred kiko aka 'my new best friends'. it was my goal to shamelessly plug my blog AND my musical side project called "chloe sebastian oliver". i did both! please join me on this epic journey of self consciousness!!!

boycrazy- my kxlu experience: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
here's me and octavius hosting the show! click here for audio only!

I ONLY WANNA BE ANNIK- PART 2:

THIS ISN'T AN ANTI FEMINIST SITE! i don't hate riot girls. i don't hate anyone OR thing. in fact, i might love TOO much about everything. i LOVE boys and girls and did i say boys? and i can see the beauty in a woman. i will never get nasty with you, until you step on me and are an asshole for no reason. 

BUT if i WAS a lesbian, i'd be a lipstick lesbian. it's my choice. i think having a website like this is an example of how cool it is to be a woman now. we can pretty much do whatever we want! i can say whatever i like on this kind of forum without some husband that my parents said i MUST marry locking me in a closet and beating me up. we've come a long way. 

but the kind of woman i aim to make laugh on this site is the 'powerhouse', a woman who's the head of a company, married to a billionaire- even though she doesn't need a goddamn thing from him-they actually like each other, she has young hot 20 something dudes lusting after her, that she may or may not be having an affair with (cuz women cheat too you know) and she doesn't get plastic surgery cuz she likes how she's aging-but if she chooses to, she can, but in the meantime she just gets facials from Europeans, mani/pedis, sees a dermatologist and uses nice creams. wears a facial mask while she's working on her laptop and her husband's going down on her. 

i just never want me, or any of us, to get boring. i wanna look good, be happy, feel grounded, sexy, stylish, busy, loved and accomplished. respected, needed, treasured, till i die. but you HAVE to keep busy and organized in order to do this. you HAVE to balance a lot on your heels (i actually don't really EVER wear heels cuz they're bad for you and i'm already very tall, so that was just a loose metaphor. but you get the gist of it.) 

in the meantime, instead of not loving this blog and getting annoyed by it from time to time, (mistakenly thinking it's ANTI WOMAN)...how about you look into helping solve a little problem called 'the sex trade industry' where young girls are abducted or sold, drugged and forced into prostitution. i bet if they weren't being raped and on the verge of death and were healthy and safe at home- they would MUCH prefer to be reading this blog RATHER than be stuck in the back of a van. xoxo

i only wanna be ANNIK:

BEING ANNIK: i hope you've seen the movie "control" about joy division. duh! it was epic! annik is the sexy girl, the mysterious fox that the guy from joy division falls in love with and ultimately wants to be with. actually, who knows who or what he really wanted. he was sad, confused, riddled with guilt/uncertainty. all i know is: Annik was WAY more enticing to me than his wife's character (played by samantha morton). annik was sexy, well dressed, exotic, wasn't heavy with a mom vibe which gives most guys the blahs! she got "it". whatever 'it' may be. I'M straight and I wanted to fuck her! 

because of this, i often find myself telling boys i have a crush on or i just think it to myself while i stare at whatever boy is in front of me- just silently in my head....that i NEVER wanna be Samantha Morton's character from control. i only ever wanna be annik! but how is this possible? women are complex, multi faceted creatures. we can do so much, we're practically men now. so how is it possible to remain as sexy as annik ALL THE TIME? how can we keep the annik essence AND tend to the normal everyday stuff- without being labeled boring, angry, aggro, ball busters???

I'M NOT SAYING TO SEXUALIZE EVERYTHING or ASPIRE TO LATCH ON TO A MANS COATTAILS....i'm saying we have to DO and BE a lot as women! duh! that's already the goal. but seeing h.j.n.t.i.t.y (he's just not that into you), really made me think! i'm kinda embarrassed about this , but not enough NOT to tell you! i'm not kidding! i don't ever wanna be jennifer connely's character! this post is MEANT to be a thought provoking uplifter, but i may be too confused to write it.

i want to grow into a woman like angelica Huston, parker posey,Charlotte rampling, etc. you know? SEXY, TALENTED, ACCOMPLISHED, WELL SEASONED, EXPERIENCED, ADULT WOMEN. but there are SOOO many opportunities to get lazy and fail at this. 

we make choices as PEOPLE, not just as WOMEN. our profession, who we surround ourselves with, the thoughts we have, who we know & let get close to us, how we balance & allot our time, the car we drive, the supermarket we shop in, the clothes we wear, the things we say, the part of town we live in. all of this is a choice. it's what defines us, divides us and categorizes us into groups or scenes. and the type of woman you want to be is a CHOICE. 

YES,I KOOOOOW: ultimately it doesn't matter what people think of you, as long as you like who you are. BUT giving up on how you present yourself and chalking it up to 'who gives a fuck' is kind of a cop out too. you could miss out on some exciting experiences and opportunities: in life, with men or women, or just how you see yourself. NOT making an effort in how you put yourself together isn't the best choice either. 

personally, i LOVE movies like the old timey james bond films, where women were spies and seductresses. that looks AWESOME. espionage, fancy dresses. meanwhile, i can barely get my flip flops on and run out the door to nature mart on hillhurst. i love flip flops and not wearing makeup...but i could also take myself to the max and use everything i've got. 

i'm NOT gonna get a lobotomy and a boob job and never give myself a chance to speak cuz my mouth's always full of some dude's dick i'm blowing! NO! that's not what i'm suggesting at ALL! i'm suggesting going full throttle girly styles and taking over the world!!! (to be continued)

excuse me,what?:

boycrazy bullshit post: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

after being asked the question "what's something you hate about girls?", this is what one young man replied with. short and sweet. i love how boys have the ability to get to the goddamn point.

***************UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE************************

I'M SOOO SORRY! I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR MY AUDACITY. HOW THE FUCK DARE I PUT UP SUCH A BULLSHIT BLOG POST?! 4 SECONDS OF VIDEO??? (I GUESS I JUST REALLY LIKED THE WALLPAPER BEHIND HIM). 

YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT! I'M BETTER THAN THAT! WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I THINK I AM? I GOT LAZY! I MAKE A LIVING FROM SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLOGGING AND THAT BECAME MY PRIORITY. I'VE BEEN UP WAY PAST MY BEDTIME FOR THE PAST FEW NIGHTS AND I TRIED TO GET AWAY WITH BEING LAZY! 

LAST NIGHT I WAS ANXIOUS AND CONFUSED AND FEELING BAD AND DID SURGERY ON MY FACE WITH TWEEZERS. DON'T WORRY, I'M STILL BEAUTIFUL, BUT NOW IN AN ENTIRELY OFF PUTTING WAY. 

I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR E-MAILS, TELLING ME HOW UNFAIR AND LAME THIS POST WAS, HOW THEY WANTED AND DESERVE MORE! AND YOU'RE ALL COMPLETELY RIGHT! NEXT TIME I WILL PUT THE TWEEZERS DOWN, STOP LOOKING AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN PEOPLE AND THEIR INFECTIOUS DRAMA CAUSING ME TO FEEL UNSETTLED...AND I WILL BLOG LIKE I HAVE NEVER BLOGGED BEFORE. I MAY BE A MONSTER...BUT AT LEAST I'M YOUR MONSTER. xoxo lylas

CHARLES SMITH PART 2-AKA "CHARLIE CASANOVA":

THE SESSION GETS SEXIER: There's something about this guy, i just can't put my finger on it. the word 'nasty' comes to mind. but in a GOOD way! i've been watching him, studying him, gageing him, spending time with him...i've even taken yoga with him. 

i've never seen his private's- but the rumor is: it's a tad smaller than a Budweiser beer can. super gurthy, but you'll ONLY get hurt in THE BEST way. he's not notorious for giving girls herpes, urinary tract infections or even AIDS...which pretty much makes him a keeper nowadays! 

look at that whimsical yet wicked stare. it's as if his eyes see right through you, past your heart and all the way down into your panties. this dude will most likely fuck the shit out of you, THEN convince you that it's OK that he'll be in bed with ANOTHER girl only hours later. it is his way and this MUST  be understood or else you might get hurt. i told you he was dangerous! a dangerous casanova. i only hope he's as good at giving head as he is at mind games...for YOUR sake. but it's worth a makeout with him at dawn to find out. have fun my babies!
boycrazy interview- charlie part 3: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.
boycrazy interview- charlie part 4 from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

CHARLES SMITH PART 1- AKA "REGARDING CHARLIE":

This may be the BEST video post of a man boy I've done yet! I'm NOT joking. i tried to lube you up for this one with a 'charlie pre post'...but i don't even think that could have gotten you ready for this. 

This is Charles Smith: a pure bred, 5th generation, native Los Angelino- brentwood bitches! he's a charmer and he's dangerous. not in an evil way, but dangerous nonetheless. no one is safe when he's around. he'll make you forget that you were late for work 20 minutes ago and somehow ended up in his van headed for Mexico (which is really NOT the best idea nowadays). 

Charlie MAY or MAY NOT be a new character on the hills. all right, HE IS (i saw his handsome face in the trailer! it's not a crime to have eyes that i can see with, geeze!)...who knows if he'll end up on the cutting room floor? but that will ONLY happen if the presidents of show biz are kuh-razy! the only difference between charlie and the previous dudes on the hills is MAJOR: charlie is NOT a douchebag. 

Sometimes i worry about him. he's in that bizarre, confusing, frustrating, stressful(i could use MORE adjectives-but won't) and difficult time between being a GROWN UP MAN and a FUN TIMES BOY. i worry that his humour (yeah, spelled with a 'u')and wit will be wasted on endless nights of raging at parties all around town. 

PLUS, I'm not sure if he's happy and i wonder what will make him happy. but what i DO know is that he brings everyone around him happiness. (which is probably a lot of pressure on him.) that being said, i know 'fun times charlie' will be great no matter what, whatever he decides to do- WHENEVER he decides to do it. 

And as summertime approaches, I'll be doing a followup with him, the warriors of radness and other majorly hot babes..as they get all dressed up in their surf gear and freak us out with their crazy wave moves. i don't surf and i clearly don't know the jargon. but i will!

boycrazy interview- charlie part 1: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

boycrazy interview- charlie part 2: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

GIDEON YAGO:

This is GIDEON YAGO! A male anomaly. He's you AND your parents wet dream! Bring this guy home for thanksgiving and you better not screw it up- or else your family will drop YOU and adopt HIM! He's THAT good! Not only is he smart, driven, successful, talented AND funny-but he's good looking and dresses well! Is he a robot? No, he's Gideon Yago!!! Star quarterback in the game of life! If you don't fall in love with him, you're MILF mom will! Booya!

the boys of american apparel:

Recently, like a traitor to my people, I've started working out. i hate exercise- EXCEPT in the form of sex & ab crunches only as a byproduct of giving blow jobs (the ones where you're lying on your back and the dude's above you-you know what I'm talking about!) so working out in any other way shape or form is totally out of my comfort zone. 

I'll ONLY do exercise that lets me wear flip flops to bare feet and leggings! I'm not into ANYTHING that might force me to cross the sleek lines of leggings & hooters shorts & a light 50 cotton 50 poly deep v OR an easy breezy Sebastian Tellier sexuality tank WITH super dorky, ugly, monster sized, clunky sneakers. no thank you!!! 

so, with that deep rooted decision having been made, I'm only able to do Pilate's and/or yoga. SO BE IT! this is obviously gods intention for me. 

I haven't had pizza in 5 years and I'm still not as fit as I'd like to be...so i gotta fucking start exercising. but you know what REALLY inspires me? PICKING THE OUTFIT FOR EACH AND EVERY WORKOUT SESH WITH MY SUPER SEXY HOT BABE TRAINER!!! 

Who knew you could shop for tote bags, work out gear and LOVE- all in one place? AMERICAN FUCKING APPAREL! next to the apple store (there will be an entire post dedicated to that place SOON), whole foods and a rave...this place is MAN MECCA!

And on an early morning visit to an American Apparel on main street in Santa Monica California (there's even a starbucks across the street- can you handle it muthah-fuckahs), i got side tracked during my 'work out gear shopping quest' by the gleam of an adorable young shop boys braces in my peripheral vision. i bought what i needed, then dragged the dude into a quiet corner to have a chat. 
boycrazy- the boys of american apparel #2: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

close encounters at target:

i don't know who the hell this guy is, but I'll refer to him as an adorable cross between tom sawyer and conan o'brian and leave it at that. he wiggles, he talks and he has bold opinions. you shouldn't even be reading this intro! you're wasting your time cuz the video speaks for itself! I'm so thankful my friend charlie has started introducing me to his bevy of young, thin, bearded friends. the first of many I'm hoping.....thanks charlie. soon I'll steal a piece of your soul too.

boycrazy video- close encounters at target: from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

the perfect day:

wow, if only EVERY day could be this AWESOME! i wake up and all of a sudden my skinniest jeans are too big on me. my nipples are hard ALL day AND my boobs don't even need a bra! my skin is clear and glowing, without even an inkling of a monster cystic acne zit lurking just below surface. 

it's every thing's FREE day at ALL the American apparels AND Chanel's in the world!

the suN is shining, but I'm NOT sweating. the possibility of a sweat stain under my arms in my 50 cotton 50 poly grey deep v- is NON EXISTENT! 

I'm happy- with absolutely NO bullshit rap to whine about to my shrink! I'm genuinely happy and content. i feel calm and thankful and centered and loved, with a real excitement for life. I'm inspired by EVERYTHING! NOT ONLY THAT, but i have the momentum and energy to follow through with all the plans and ideas I'm having! wowzers!!! 

when i check my bank balance, i notice i have over a million dollars in it AND someone has somehow put a percentage of my money in Cd's AND mutual funds. 

the headline of every paper reads, "no more aids OR cancer!" aids isn't here anymore! no way?! so rad! 

my phone is filling with texts and ringing off the hook- i guess we don't HAVE hooks anymore, cuz everyone only has mobile phones now. but you get what i'm saying. it's benicio del torro. he wants to take me on a date to the arclight (the one in Hollywood, NOT the valley)! shit, that sounds fun, but Brian grazer wants to go on a platonic hike with me in Malibu to take me under his wing and teach me how to be a power house producer/the president of show biz! i choose the latter- cuz that'll change my life and has awesome staying power potential! 

oh, wait, hold up- johnny depp called to say that I'm beautiful, deeply talented and if he wasn't already in love with vanessa paradis, he'd have sex with me in an instant.... and might even consider being my boyfriend. oh well. you win some, you lose some. sometimes it's an honor JUST to be nominated. 

I'm off to lunch with all my friends (a handful of stylish, fun people. we make each other laugh and there is nothing but love and mutual respect between us!) in my scion TURNED 2012 prius! HOLLAH!!! it's such a smooth quiet ride, i had no idea!

we're trying a new restaurant that only serves peperoni pizza that makes you thin! why didn't someone think of this sooner?! 

Obama texts me while I'm at lunch for some advice on what to do with the senate, blah blah blah. but I'm all like "Obama, take it down a notch! you're the man! only you have the answers! i believe in you! now it's up to you to believe in yourself!" 

instead of the bill, the waiter hands me and all my friends first class tickets  to England, France, Germany, and Italy....decisions decisions!!!  (to be continued)