1. if a fat and/or ugly dude snubs you, it's time to look at yourself in the mirror. it might be time for a make over. 2. if you're in a car and you see a cute dude, honk your horn. women NEVER do this. men do it! gardeners do it! just give it a try. the dudes will LOVE it and be a bit confused/taken a back. it's like punching them in the face with your new found power vadge!
3. if a boy says no one will ever love you as much as he loves you, don't believe it. he's trying to suck you back in. it's actually another reason why you SHOULDN'T be with him. the world is large and you are lovable. i hope. i haven't met you, but i've heard totally good things!
4. you are a woman. you have the power to cast spells over boys with your words, your silence, gestures, eyes, and actions. this power can be super fun/entertaining, and will most likely result in an epic make out and/or someone falling in love with you. i can't stress enough how much power you have. use it wisely.
5. make a life list of what you want for yourself. what you want to do professionally, where you want to travel, things you really and truly want to accomplish, where you want to live, etc. and put them up on your wall. i can't tell you how important it is to see what your life goals are every morning when you wake up- right there in front of you.
6. wear mascara! what the fuck is your problem? it will only make your life better. trust me.
7. if you begin a relationship with someone and you think you love them, but as time goes by you begin to realize they aren't the person who thought they were. OR they aren't what you WANT anymore, don't be afraid to leave.
8. if you ask your date for a coca cola and he comes back from the bar and hands you a diet coke- it means he thinks you're fat.
9. being the bearer of bad news does not ALWAYS feel THIS good.
10. when he calls, let it ring at least twice. nobody likes a desperate whore. xo
