1. live every day eating like you're about to be photographed naked by Ryan McGinley the next day.2. don't be an idiot. save your money!!! open a savings account! put half of what you make in your checking and the other half in your savings. you'll thank me later! think ahead! the younger you are, the more thankful you'll be later!
3. it's bad manners to drink out of a glass/cup/mug with a spoon in it.
4. wood does not absorb electricity. Unless we're talking about a dudes wooden dick and the electricity of a woman's vagina. in this case, wood will totally absorb electricity!
5. metal absorbs heat. If you leave your spoon in your tea/coffee/soup, it'll get cooler.
6. Stop smoking! It'll make you REAL UGLY, REAL FAST. I'd almost rather you develop a sex addiction instead (with condoms of course). It would be less harmful to your health. I don't care if it's your nervous outlet, if you're addicted! Go to cvs, Duane Reade, target, your local pharmacy and get the patch! Then go to whole foods and buy two packs of flavored tooth picks. One cinnamon and one tea tree. Good luck. Haggy, wrinkled, smokers won't be allowed to read this blog any more. So get it the fuck together! there's no excuse to smoke anymore!
7. i know i probably shouldn't say this but i feel compelled to; you should start loving your body if you don't already. even if it's all gross and you're out of shape. EVEN if you're a binge eating maniac with so many flaps of fat you can't properly clean all the crevices and as a result you tend to smell sour and can't figure out why. i say you should like your body because it's the only body you're ever gonna have and it's yours! my mom used to tell me 'how's your body ever gonna change for you if you keep telling it that you hate it?' so be nice to your body. that includes taking care of it with what you put inside it, (food, liquid and boys privates includes, how you wash it, how you move it, etc.
8. you're ONLY allowed to have popcorn and peanut m&ms at the cinema if you're IN the movie that you're seeing. no exceptions. if you end up getting cut out of the film and you've already finished the treats and feel SUPER EXTRA guilty cuz your cause for celebration is now non existent- you better walk that shizz off fatty!
9. a SECOND on the lips, a LIFETIME on the hips.
10. don't go in the ocean when you have your period. a shark will totally eat you. i live by this rule. be careful this summer.
36 comments:
A second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips..I like that one!
Comment 10 made me nearly choke on my drink so funny. Ive never really thought of that before.
Ryan is so amazing. Funny, my mom said the exact same thing..
I like number nine too.
we get it, being skinny is everything to you... any real advice?
well, i guess the only answer is for me to become a silver screen actress.
goddamnit.... i loved my m&m/popcorn combo too....
being skinny IS real advice!!!!
best one yet
The shark advice is the best thing I have ever head in the way of advice to girls! Hilarious! So happy you said something about smoking.... I cannot stand it and I am totally gonna show that to some people lol
When I was 14 I went snorkeling with sharks while on my period because I was too shy to tell the beautiful dive instructor that I was menstruating. Risking my life for love? I made it out okay.
haha i love it.
not gonna lie...the only reason i read this blog is to laugh at this girl's thinly veiled eating issues & desperate attempts at being relevant/interesting/intellectual/quirky/endearingly vulnerable, etc. instead of what she is: a stereotypical woman and a trite, shallow cliche of a human being.
sorry that was mean. (but not really sorry)
i love your blog a lot but the comments about being thin are really NOT OK! first you say love your body no matter what it looks like then you say don't eat popcorn and peanut m&ms and "a second on the lips, a lifetime on the hips." contradicting messages! and there are poor girls who probably read this and are feeling bad about themselves bc they like a little popcorn every once in awhile. it's ok to eat junk food once in a blue moon, just work out! please advocate HEALTHY lifestyles. and sweating off fat at a camp is fine if you're into that, but by no means are you ANYWHERE in need of losing any weight. you are stick thin. you're sending a message that someone as thin as you isn't thin enough. not ok alexi! other than that, i love your blog and will continue to read xo
I love how you try toome across as all enlightened and forward thinking when you really have the mentality of a 1950's housewife. My advice: JUST BE YOURSELF!!!! (yes that was four exclamation marks). You are desperate beyond words and need a man to define you, and you'd rather die than be a normal weight. Eveyone's different. That's fine, I'm not even judging. I'm kind of jealous actually, I wish I could base my whole existence on such trivial things...
smoking is all thin people do :(
man, you need to publish a book of blind leading the blinds. I would def. buy it!
and who cares about what other people say? they can't deal with your honesty and amazing-ness? what.evs.
your blog kicks ass. last thing I'm gonna say.
i propose a top 10 list of things for boys to be conscious of these days. letting go of stay-pressed pants needs to be at the top of that list.
Ah, that wonderful time of year when anonymous blogger comments become bold and personal. Allow me to join you.
"the only reason i read this blog is to laugh at this girl's…eating issues…what she is: a stereotypical woman and a trite, shallow cliche of a human being"
Hmm. Misogynistic much? Way to call her out. Yes, that's the stereotypical woman for you - a trite and shallow cliche. Oooh. Do Italians next.
"Eveyone's different. That's fine, I'm not even judging. I'm kind of jealous actually, I wish I could base my whole existence on such trivial things..."
I like that you're not judging her for leading a meaningless and trivial existence. I also love your advice to JUST BE YOURSELF. (Emphasis yours). How did you come up with that? But what if "yourself" is a nasty little person? I'm not judging you, though, 'cause I think it might be fun to be a nasty little person. Yet I'm sure you have more weighty matters on your mind, so I imagine you're not reading a trivial blog post's comments anyways. Luckily, I lead a trivial existence, so here I am…
There's a great scene in the Howard Stern movie (forget the name) where they're breaking down his audience. The ones that love him listen for like an hour and cite "wanting to hear what he says next" as their motivation. The ones that hate him listen for like three hours and cite "wanting to hear what he says next" as their motivation.
I think that's an interesting snapshot into the human condition.
these entries are definately one of my favorite.
The reason comments are allowed on this blog are so people can leave their opinions, whatever they are. Doesn't Alexi work in the Hollywood industry? I'm sure she's got a thick skin. And I don't think everyone who posts negatively is a 'hater', it's possible for people to enjoy reading the blog but disagree with some of the things she says.
I find it really interesting to read all the comments left for every post because it gives diffeent perspectives on what she's saying, I don't think there's any need for 'in-fighting' between the different comment posters!
haha why do people get so worked up, if you dont wanna develop low self esteem and an eating disorder then STOP READING THIS BLOG. she's not forcing you xoxo
I LOVE YOU!
walking all around this afternoon I wound up stuck on a street that was blocked off from curb to curb with Firemen. Firemen cooking for the public and racing down the street shirtless with a hose. Apparently this was the largest Firefighter appreciation event in the nation. It was missing your presence, I wish I had known. what a happy happenstance!
I can't figure why some people just want to be mean and say stupid stuff for attention.
Don't read it if you don't like it.But also if you think someone has a problem how about some compassion?
I liked the blog.
I took your advice and quit smoking yesterday its hard but i agree its gross...no eating disorder developed as of yet though ;)keep up the good wok Alexia.
love your "blind leading the blind" entries.
don't listen to the haters. they're probably fat.
to the commenter above me: i'm not a hater, i left the 11th comment out of love. i am NOT fat. i am 5'8'' and 115 lbs and wear a size 2 and that is hardlyyyy fat. if anything i'm underweight, although i am not anorexic or obsessed with dieting and i think that kind of behavior or advocating it on a blog is kind of irresponsible and unfair to all her devoted young readers who may or may not be impressionable. being naturally thin is one thing, but going to sweat off fat at camps or depriving yourself of a little indulgence here and there is another. usually alexi gives great advice that empowers young ladies, but anytime she mentions weight i cringe a little.
yeah the weight comments are stupid and irresponsible but so is this blog, and thats why you love it! she's just trash talking as shit comes out of her head, shes not running for office, RELAX!! XXXXX
"I love your blog a lot but the comments about being thin are really NOT OK!"
"The weight comments are stupid and irresponsible"
Isn't what makes this blog awesome the fact that Alexi says what's on her mind no matter how Un-PC it may be?
Approximately 1/3 of Americans are overweight. Why is being body conscious such a bad thing? If you're overweight and you don't like the way your body looks then put down the popcorn and the big gulp and take control of your life. Go to a fat camp, stay in a sweat lodge, get a trainer or just go for a walk. Nobody has ever died from skipping a few meals but plenty have from food related illnesses.
The #1 eating disorder in America is EATING.
hah why the complaints? this is a blog about getting guys written buy a LA girl, of course everything in her life centres around being thin! her goals in life are being underweight and sleeping with men to define her worth. if you think what she says is irresponsible dont live that way... this blog is not to be taken seriously!
Blind leading the Blind: dont eat dont eat ON ONE WILL LOVE YOU UNLESS YOURE SKINNY. also believe in yourself girls! BUT DONT EAT for gods sake your personality counts for nothing!!! ONLY UGLY PEOPLE WILL DISAGREE
blah
Didn't you quit modelling since they wanted you to be thinner and you wanted nothing to do with it? After Japan when that guy winked knowlingly at you when you refused a piece of birthday cake? Not the Lexi I knew anymore babe... you're starving and mindlessly fucking away your personality...
"the only reason i read this blog is to laugh at this girl's thinly veiled eating issues & desperate attempts at being relevant/interesting/intellectual/quirky/endearingly vulnerable, etc. instead of what she is: a stereotypical woman and a trite, shallow cliche of a human being."
HAHAHAHAH this made me laugh more than anything she has ever written! Hit the nail on the head! This site is such a voyeuristic guilty pleasure and instantly makes me feel better about myself, same thing I used to use Jerry Springer for :P
'HAHAHAHAH this made me laugh more than anything she has ever written! Hit the nail on the head! This site is such a voyeuristic guilty pleasure and instantly makes me feel better about myself, same thing I used to use Jerry Springer for :P'
Thanks, I try.
As for being misogynistic....funny, that's the precise word i'd use to describe this blog. That's why i said "stereotypical woman." Homegirl acts exactly the way women are supposed to, per our society.
I love this blog! I love your personality! Please don't begin to censor yourself because of these unhappy people.
As for all of you offended commenters, this blog is someones feelings and thoughts, who are you to judge that. Alexi you are awsome! And you must be doing something right if you can make such a huge impression on people!
Your bluntness is what makes this blog cool and interesting, people can pick and choose what you decide to discuss.
Don't let the negative people change the way you write, because in the end they're going to read it reguardless soooo give them something to talk about!
"Approximately 1/3 of Americans are overweight. Why is being body conscious such a bad thing? If you're overweight and you don't like the way your body looks then put down the popcorn and the big gulp and take control of your life. Go to a fat camp, stay in a sweat lodge, get a trainer or just go for a walk. Nobody has ever died from skipping a few meals but plenty have from food related illnesses."
I totally agree about that BUT yes, people have died from anorexia or have permanently damaged their organs so i don't know what you're talking about when you said no one has died from skipping meals? and there's definitely a difference between being body conscious and obsessed with your weight to the point of where it's unhealthy. like i said, i wear a size 2 and i think it's kind of lame that people assume just bc someone thinks alexi's unhealthy obsession with weight kinda sucks they're labeled as fat or unattractive. not the case. i've just seen a lot of girlfriends and even family members struggle with eating disorders. eating disorders thrive in online communities and people with eating disorders tend to gravitate towards hanging out with people who advocate or normalize that kind of behavior, like the person who posted that comment i quoted from.
I got bummed i gained some weight and then instead of going back to being bulimic, i decided walking in meadows and doing yoga on the TV (god bless Veria channel, eff Namaste yoga on FitTV), and gardening was much better. All of which is LA chic as well (replace meadows with beach/Elysian Park). It will also give you a life, and allow your brain to wander and think about important things...or what nail color really is the raddest. whatever ever you want to think about.
That's much better advice than phrases like "second on the lips forever on the hips."
Lets get some positive reinforcement here, Alexi! After all, its the only thing that REALLY works.
PS - I agree with Kate, if we have to get "mean." Get that girl power back if it indeed has been lost :-(
PS - THANK YOU FOR THE TEA TREE FLAVORED TOOTHPICK IDEA. I AM USING IT!!!
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