Anonymous said...Hi Alexi,
I have a question for you that does not pertain to this post. When you are about to embark into sexual contact with someone you don't know that well, how do you bring up the subject of STDs? Especially if the person in question has a reputation of being promiscuous. I feel like it might offend someone if you said "I'd like to have sex with you, but I'm concerned that you have an STD." Or even if you don't suspect it, you can't be too sure of anything this day in age. I just can't think of a not-uncomfortable way to bring it up.
Thanks!
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boycrazy said...
I have a question for you that does not pertain to this post. When you are about to embark into sexual contact with someone you don't know that well, how do you bring up the subject of STDs? Especially if the person in question has a reputation of being promiscuous. I feel like it might offend someone if you said "I'd like to have sex with you, but I'm concerned that you have an STD." Or even if you don't suspect it, you can't be too sure of anything this day in age. I just can't think of a not-uncomfortable way to bring it up.
Thanks!
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boycrazy said...
dear anonymous,
don't be afraid to bring up being worried about stds! it's 2009 and it's WAY too scary to meet some dude and have unprotected sex OR EVEN protected sex!! it's not worth getting herpes, warts or aids! i know how you feel, i've been shy (the people pleaser in me) asking the dude who wants to be inside me to get tested for hiv and ALL the stds! of course, I get tested for EVERYTHING after EVERY dude i sleep with! that way if i ever get something, i'll have somewhat of an idea as to who gave me what! i say 'somewhat of an idea' because sometimes things show up later. thankfully, i've never contracted anything- and i'm NOT a virgin! no where close to it!
unfortunately, MOST dudes are lazy. they get all cranky and whiny and say they're clean and healthy. blah blah blah. but why do we have to do all the work?! if the dude isn't an asshole, he'll get tested! however, most dudes will need to be nudged and budged! i wish this wasn't so, cuz quite frankly, it makes the girl become a bit resentful! and who wants to be resentful in the beginning of what could be an epic beautiful blossoming romance?!
so, stick to your guns! only have sex with a condom AND never have unprotected sex. but, keep asking him to get tested. offer to go with him. hold out on sex completely if you have to! ESPECIALLY if a week has gone by and he STILL hasn't gone!
ask for a receipt too! the last guy i had sex with not only got tested (after a few weeks of me being whiny and on his case and looking as though i was really let down by his laziness AND THAT THIS REALLY MATTERED TO ME)- he took pictures of himself giving urine and having his blood drawn! AND he let me see the doctors receipt and listen to the message from the docs office saying he was all good! we both had a sense of humor about it!
so, if the guy REALLY likes you, or just REALLY wants to fuck you AND has nothing to hide: he'll get tested! you're worth it! this is not a time to be a pushover or a people pleaser, because you could die or get pregnant OR BOTH! no unprotected sex!!!!!! YOU CAN EVEN SHOW HIM THIS POST HERE. let this speak for you!
WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO, AS LONG AS HE GETS TESTED! i love you!!!
unfortunately, MOST dudes are lazy. they get all cranky and whiny and say they're clean and healthy. blah blah blah. but why do we have to do all the work?! if the dude isn't an asshole, he'll get tested! however, most dudes will need to be nudged and budged! i wish this wasn't so, cuz quite frankly, it makes the girl become a bit resentful! and who wants to be resentful in the beginning of what could be an epic beautiful blossoming romance?!
so, stick to your guns! only have sex with a condom AND never have unprotected sex. but, keep asking him to get tested. offer to go with him. hold out on sex completely if you have to! ESPECIALLY if a week has gone by and he STILL hasn't gone!
ask for a receipt too! the last guy i had sex with not only got tested (after a few weeks of me being whiny and on his case and looking as though i was really let down by his laziness AND THAT THIS REALLY MATTERED TO ME)- he took pictures of himself giving urine and having his blood drawn! AND he let me see the doctors receipt and listen to the message from the docs office saying he was all good! we both had a sense of humor about it!
so, if the guy REALLY likes you, or just REALLY wants to fuck you AND has nothing to hide: he'll get tested! you're worth it! this is not a time to be a pushover or a people pleaser, because you could die or get pregnant OR BOTH! no unprotected sex!!!!!! YOU CAN EVEN SHOW HIM THIS POST HERE. let this speak for you!
WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO, AS LONG AS HE GETS TESTED! i love you!!!
3 comments:
Alexi,
I've been following your blog for a couple of weeks now and would just like to say I love how blunt and empowering your insights are. I'm having a bit of a dilemma.I am 19 and I am still a virgin. The longest I have ever dated/hooked up with someone was for a few months and sex just never happened; I finally broke it off. I feel really inexperienced for my age and find myself turning away from guys or not making quick enough moves on them when they seem interested but I can't help it. I always imagined that I'd lose my virginity to someone I really cared about but it looks like no one has come along.I don't know what I need to do to boost my confidence or if I need to start being more flirtatious but I'm not sure if that will even help. I'm in college, there are thousands of men out there!I just want to fool around a bit is that too much to ask, but I'm not trying to give myself on the first guy that comes along. Any advice would be great!
Sincerely,
The 19 Year Old Virgin
you know, i was actually thinking about doing this but the other way around... being a guy and all.
Are virgins not cool anymore? Cuz I'm just getting older and older. Haven't met the one yet. Or should I just let go and have fun? advice?
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