Monday, May 11, 2009

they care:

'we care' is everything i forgot it was! i love it here. it's like a grown up version of summer camp. women are euphoric here! why? because none of us are eating and that only means one thing: we're losing weight! i'm the youngest person here. that won't always be the case, so i'll enjoy it while i can. you should too, whoever you are. after all, today is the youngest you're ever gonna be!

i had my colonic, and it wasn't even scary. the only things that came out of me were bad dreams and pixie dust. just as i suspected. i DID have to ask the colon therapist how the hell she got into this business. her answer was something along the lines of: i was a makeup artist and through learning about health and stuff, i got into this. wtf? i get it, if i squint while i think i about it. either way, i'm officially sold!even if i DO think the whole thing is an embarrassing nightmare of self indulgence! but, i take myself seriously, so if i'm not self indulgent, who else will indulge me? 

she said the colon is twenty five feet long and basically the garbage can of your body. you can't clean it out/scrape the plaque off of it (yikes) without getting  colonics. am i drinking the koolaide, cuz this makes sense to me? i'm not a cult member YET, i just see what they're saying. what? don't look at me like that! MY colon's cleaner than YOURS! 

there's some weird shaky machine called a vibra-trim that you stand on and makes your whole body vibrate. they say it's good to do before a colonic AND its good for your lymphatic system. but mostly it just makes me feel like a kid who likes to wiggle. which i am. in reality, it's probably on the verge of dislodging by brain from it's brain holder- but 'we care' said to do it, and they TOTALLY care. 

i have 2 more colonics to get while i'm here for the weekend.i guess i'll have to say goodbye to any more bad vibes and nightmares that lurk within me. every hour, i have to take a supplement or drink some kind of tea or juice or detox bev (slang for beverage). it makes not eating easy, cuz there's a very structured plan and you don't feel like you're being deprived. other than that, i'm trying to get out of my head and not be so mental. not OVER THINK so much. i still wanna over think, just not as much as I do.

here's what i'm learning while at we care:  
1. i have an addiction to the internet, texting, my cell phone (blackberry) in general, and  coffee. 
2. i usually live my life letting food control me. 
3. only i have the power to create my life. 
4. no one should be able to intimidate me.  

all of this sounds very new agey, so i will call this my 'new age phase' and leave it at that. i promise; back to trash talking, sexy, funny, boy stuff later this week. xo


Anonymous said...

this is great. I always wanted to know what goes on at these places. I may do it! Keep telling us more

Anonymous said...

anon said...

You should do a blog about how one can capture a. Fine as hell band dudes heart

SirWilly77 said...

This blog brought back warm 'n fuzzy memories of straightening shelves at Target, finding the Fleet Enema box, and chuckling with youthful immaturity at the crudely drawn diagram on the back: