Boycrazy in new york city!
PS: is anyone else as excited as i am about the new "Hills" spin off called "the city"? don't lie!
APC: the whole foods of the clothing stores- for scoping out dudes. Artfags galore! i love it! pea coats, green military jackets with fur trimmed hoods. And the quirkier you look, and the more androgynous you appear-the better! Bizarre faces rule in this 'antithesis of paris hilton' establishment! which is rad for me because I feel somewhat offbeat and quirky looking. It's super expensive, so meander and pout, but try not to buy anything! Why is it soo fucking expensive? i don't know. it just is. If you wanna recreate apc looks for cheaper; shop at club monaco/uniqlo/j crew/4 ever 21/hm/even target. i just hope you pick out the right pieces. I'm sure you'll be fine. watch out for cheap looking plastic buttons and bad plastic-y looking fake leather. too much sheen can be a problem. now I'm worried. I'm sure you'll be fine.
what's with girls who lie about where they got an article of clothing? ME:"Where'd you get your sweater? I absolutely love it!"
HER:"Um" clearly about to lie "it's vintage." or "I can't remember, I bought it ages ago." Or "it used to be my moms, from when she was my age!"
Bullshit! you, just don't want me to rush out and buy it too! And you know what I have to say to that? Bravo! I have to shop harder! I love you.
when shopping, don't buy right away if it's crazy expensive or the return policy is bogus. Walk away, have a think, and if you can't get the said item out of your head, buy it! This theory does not apply to pizza or desserts though! Stay away from those! Oh yeah, and don't smoke either. Even if it aids you in being super skinny! I don't care. It'll wreck your face! Do you wanna look busted at 27? Fuck no! Moisturize moisturize moisturize! Quit the cigs and become a Pilate's master/macrobiotic/ do-gooder instead! Whatever makes you look fierce and other girls jealous of you. This blog is meant to be an inspiring slap in the face!!! A virtual pep talk! Why wait until new years for resolutions? Look at yourself in the mirror now, and get it the fuck together bitches!!!
Boycrazing spots nyc: whole foods on Houston- the second floor is like a heightened version of a high school cafeteria scene in a john Hughes film. Balthazar, outside bench-Buy a coffee from the take out section, sit and linger on the bench outside, check out the dudes that walk by!
Christmas is coming! I'm so excited! there will be an entire post dedicated to mistletoe and instigating a makeout without appearing like the desperate slut you may or may not REALLY be! just you wait! also, if a boy makes you a mix cd-it either means he REALLY likes you OR, he had 6 minutes to burn and wants to have sex with you! i hope it's the first one, for your sake.
Please don't think I'm a COMPLETE asshole, but the other day- while I was eating at whole foods-(something I put together ALL BY MYSELF at the salad bar) I was TOTALLY put off my food when a homeless person walked by me. I didn't want to be put off my food/lose my appetite for sooo many reasons. I didn't want to be THAT shallow and judge mental/easily affected by dirty people. PLUS, I was starving. But she walked past me like 3 times and by the 3rd time, I was done! She had won. Oh fuck, now that I think back, I should have given her my food instead of throwing it away. But would that have been more insulting? Oh well. Too late now. I left and got a Starbucks. Then I drove to another whole foods without even thinking! (isn't that adorable?) I went grocery shopping. i can be so efficient and responsible when i put my mind to it. When did super markets become such a beacon of hope and a security blanket in my life? While there, I spotted a cute dude in the parking lot. I was hoping he'd walk into whole foods, but alas- no. He was heading into the 99 cent store. don't EVER pick up dudes at the 99 cent store. you're only asking for trouble. Inside whole foods #2, I bought some rice cakes, cuz I really wanted something sweet, but didn't want to feel guilty. Rice cakes are a meaningless food that do nothing for you, but at the time it seemed way better than a vegan piece of cake. I had a whole plan: caramel and/or cinnamon toast flavored rice cakes, with honey on them. This was a snack that made sense in my head. Sometimes, I truly feel that if I can wrap my head around what I'm eating/and it's not super processed, and there aren't too many components, it can't be that bad for me. And as long as I don't eat 12 of them, I'll be fine. So I get into the checkout line, and the dude who was originally going into the 99cent store got in line behind me! No way! I couldn't believe it. it was a pre Christmas miracle! I acted super aloof and quasi casj(casual). And only smiled when I caught him staring at me out of the corner of my eye. The market was super hectic and people kept bumping into us. the holiday rush and whatnot! YOU know what I'm talking about! That's when I ever so lightly, opened my mouth and said "its crazy in here!" Yeah! I DID IT! a man magnet i am! the ball was in his court! He smiled. he loved me! I looked down at my basket. i had to give him a break from my penetrating gaze. i mean, i didn't want him to faint or anything. And that's when I saw his feet pitter patter out of the line...... and away from me.......and he never came back. I guess I'm not as cute as I think I am. merry Christmas. 
