Wednesday, December 3, 2008

there's no shame in my game:

Boycrazy in new york city!
PS: is anyone else as excited as i am about the new "Hills" spin off called "the city"? don't lie!

APC: the whole foods of the clothing stores- for scoping out dudes. Artfags galore! i love it! pea coats, green military jackets with fur trimmed hoods. And the quirkier you look, and the more androgynous you appear-the better! Bizarre faces rule in this 'antithesis of paris hilton' establishment! which is rad for me because I feel somewhat offbeat and quirky looking. It's super expensive, so meander and pout, but try not to buy anything! Why is it soo fucking expensive? i don't know. it just is. If you wanna recreate apc looks for cheaper; shop at club monaco/uniqlo/j crew/4 ever 21/hm/even target. i just hope you pick out the right pieces. I'm sure you'll be fine. watch out for cheap looking plastic buttons and bad plastic-y looking fake leather. too much sheen can be a problem. now I'm worried. I'm sure you'll be fine.
what's with girls who lie about where they got an article of clothing? 
ME:"Where'd you get your sweater? I absolutely love it!"
HER:"Um" clearly about to lie "it's vintage." or "I can't remember, I bought it ages ago." Or "it used to be my moms, from when she was my age!" 
Bullshit! you, just don't want me to rush out and buy it too! And you know what I have to say to that? Bravo! I have to shop harder! I love you.
when shopping, don't buy right away if it's crazy expensive or the return policy is bogus. Walk away, have a think, and if you can't get the said item out of your head, buy it! This theory does not apply to pizza or desserts though! Stay away from those! Oh yeah, and don't smoke either. Even if it aids you in being super skinny! I don't care. It'll wreck your face! Do you wanna look busted at 27? Fuck no! Moisturize moisturize moisturize! Quit the cigs and become a Pilate's master/macrobiotic/ do-gooder instead! Whatever makes you look fierce and other girls jealous of you. This blog is meant to be an inspiring slap in the face!!! A virtual pep talk! Why wait until new years for resolutions? Look at yourself in the mirror now, and get it the fuck together bitches!!!

Boycrazing spots nyc: whole foods on Houston- the second floor is like a heightened version of a high school cafeteria scene in a john Hughes film. Balthazar, outside bench-Buy a coffee from the take out section, sit and linger on the bench outside, check out the dudes that walk by!
Christmas is coming! I'm so excited! there will be an entire post dedicated to mistletoe and instigating a makeout without appearing like the desperate slut you may or may not REALLY be! just you wait! also, if a boy makes you a mix cd-it either means he REALLY likes you OR, he had 6 minutes to burn and wants to have sex with you! i hope it's the first one, for your sake.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

i miss your ramblings, so i guess a blog will do for now. come home! xo brooke

Anonymous said...

I love it hon! This just made me smile like an eejit over my morning tea.... :) koj x

JONATHAN said...

you're right! why wait for new years?!
this blog inspired me to quit cigs.

damn my breath stank.
if i'm successful, lets make out.

Paul Baxendale said...

Ha! Your blog is very funny! And your description of APC in this post is spot on! When I lived in NY I enjoyed slinking around APC a bit then hopping over to Club Monaco to see what sort of vaguely comparable goodies waited for me in the boy's sale section!
Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

"just you wait! also, if a boy makes you a mix cd-it either means he REALLY likes you OR, he had 6 minutes to burn and wants to have sex with you!"

this is hilarious! i thought about it and just realized the most recent 2 guys to make me a CD definitely did it just because they wanted to have sex with me!

by the way, i fucking love you! i want to comment all of your entries but i feel like some weird obsessed stalker now

boycrazy said...

do it! you are not a stalker! i hope! comment away! xoxo