Thursday, May 21, 2009

the blind leading the blind PART 8:

1. if the one person you DON'T wanna have sex with is your boyfriend, there's a problem. 

2. if you're put on hold for longer than 9 seconds, hang up/press end.

3. men put work first. Women put men first. Don't do it for a man, do it for yourself. let's change the way we think.

4. NEVER, i repeat NEVER wear flap pocket pants. you are not a joke! don't dress like one.

5. if you pick at an ingrown hair on your bikini line, people will TOTALLY think you have herpes. i'm just saying.

6. never pay for a man. let him pay for you. if you MUST, split the check. but only if you really love him.

7. everything is better when you're eating with chopsticks. Remember that scene in the breakfast club, when everyone stares at molly ringwald cuz she's eating sushi for lunch? Fancy beauties need sticks to hold their food and direct it into their mouth. Duh! Get with the program and join the club! fyi, you can't eat a pizza with chopsticks.

8. stop TALKING about what you're GONNA do and just DO it. nobody will believe you anyway until it's done and you've actually accomplished something.

9. get rid of what you don't need. Leggings with stains?! are you kidding me? you're what? Saving them for a rainy day when you have food poisoning or your period or something? NO! I don't give a fuck! Get the fuck rid of them/it! It's a representation of you. An extension of you. Like your bf, your apt, your job, your clothes, your friends! Do you save your fucking stained panties too? Reserving them for when you're bleeding and/or aren't gonna be around a dude you're trying to impress? Well that's nasty! Don't accidentally fall into the trap of being a fowl dirty bitch! Even in the privacy of your own home- it isn't ok! you're doing it for you, not him! Be a fancy princess alone too! even just for yourself! Just for you, not for him! I love you!

10. it's super important that when looking for a new apartment to rent/move into- you feel SAFE! i can't stress enough the importance of feeling safe. not only in your apt, but where you hang out, with your dude, with your friends, etc.

19 comments:

LCWG said...

Don't accidentally fall into the trap of being a fowl dirty bitch!What? You mean I can't wear my favourite comfy outfit around the house?!

http://image03.webshots.com/3/8/58/50/24885850qLqflFnQIa_fs.jpg

I'm sorry. That was so lame it's clinically dead... I'll see myself out.

Anonymous said...

I like your blind leading the blind posts, they remind me of a harsh version of the song 'always wear sunscreen'x

MUSEUM OF STICKERS said...

THIS IS MY FAVE BLIND LEADING THE BLIND! DUDE I LOVE YOU

Courtney and Basil said...

This was funny, Made me want to do some cleaning. I have lately for about a week now been transforming into this "I'm doing it for myself attitude" So I'm glad you posted something about that.

Anonymous said...

i love you

SirWilly77 said...

Men put work first because women put gainfully employed men first. Men, on the other hand, don't care if a girl is a CEO or living with their parents between jobs as long as they're hot and into us.

charlesLee said...

Men put work first because women put gainfully employed men first. Men, on the other hand, don't care if a girl is a CEO or living with their parents between jobs as long as they're hot and into us.

....sorry but i ABSOLUTELY care if a woman is successful or not. its really important to me that a woman not only can stand on her own, but is independent, strong, and that im totally attracted to her. i find that independence makes a woman that much more beautiful. i cant be bothered w women who dont have thier shit together, and i dont mind taking care of my girl as long as she is self sufficient... but for some reason i do care if she isnt...

Anonymous said...

What the hell are flat pocket pants?

boycrazy said...

flap.

Temporary House said...

seriously i love this blog.

Anonymous said...

im confused. are you a woman or a man? are you a misogynist or a feminist? yes, its not all black and white, but you kind of are coming across as a real cunt here. soz.

Erika said...

Oh man you totally called me out on like two things. I need to shape up! Thx for your tutelage. xxx

Unknown said...

#8! For real.

Anonymous said...

love it!

9. Out with clothes that don't fit! No you cannot save those pants for when you lose a few more pounds... treat yourself to new things! I too had a dress that would look fab if only I had a rib removed.

Cellular Coma said...

I guess when a smart, strong, assertive lady speaks her mind it makes her a cunt? That's a new low, even for anonymous haters.

Anonymous said...

WHOA I'm looking through the new Fader Mag and you're in it!?

Nina said...

i love number 9! i wholeheartedly agree.

Carpet Demon said...

Men DON'T put work first. unless they're a paramedic or fireman (yeah yeah?!)

Anonymous said...

you're great, this post is great, that's it - I loved reading this so much.

forget the haters with dirty mouths, they hide behind a computer screen and can't let someone freely write their thoughts in their own blogs because simply, they hate they can't write a blog that makes - them - unique, as you did/ and continue to do.

people - if you want to hate - spew your crap in the comment box then click 'delete' - instant therapy for you. Either that or go jerk off.. whichever. same thing.