What happened last night? I'll tell you what happened! Last night, you got banged by some dude and you were totally boring in bed! I'm soooo disappointed in you! The only excuse for submissive sex is if you're being raped! Otherwise, it is NOT an option! Plus, guys talk too you know, and you don't wanna get a rep for being a lame dud in the sack! Do you?? Now's not the time to worry about whether or not your bangs are perfectly straight. Now's the time to get nasty! I'm not saying that you should let him stick it in your bum, cuz I actually DON'T advocate that. I'm just saying, don't stop at GETTING fucked. You fuck him right back, you nasty bitch! Make noise if you want to, make whatever face you feel inclined to (shit, I hope it's not super ugly-oh well, I say take the chance! How ugly could it be? If you're reading this blog, it means you're beautiful!) Get on top, on your side, on the bottom,69 (although my best dude friend once told me that 69'ing is the ultimate in intimate cuz it's pretty much ass on face-yikes! That's why I always say 'carry baby wipes'-that way you don't have to sacrifice in the sack!), get head/give head! Just wait for my mutual masturbation post! It's gonna be detailed, personal,and RAD! So please! Don't lay there like a lump! Even if you're a beautiful lump! That is no excuse to be boring! Cuz if you're crazy in bed, super nice to look at AND have a great personality..........YOU WIN!Monday, January 26, 2009
self conscious sex:
What happened last night? I'll tell you what happened! Last night, you got banged by some dude and you were totally boring in bed! I'm soooo disappointed in you! The only excuse for submissive sex is if you're being raped! Otherwise, it is NOT an option! Plus, guys talk too you know, and you don't wanna get a rep for being a lame dud in the sack! Do you?? Now's not the time to worry about whether or not your bangs are perfectly straight. Now's the time to get nasty! I'm not saying that you should let him stick it in your bum, cuz I actually DON'T advocate that. I'm just saying, don't stop at GETTING fucked. You fuck him right back, you nasty bitch! Make noise if you want to, make whatever face you feel inclined to (shit, I hope it's not super ugly-oh well, I say take the chance! How ugly could it be? If you're reading this blog, it means you're beautiful!) Get on top, on your side, on the bottom,69 (although my best dude friend once told me that 69'ing is the ultimate in intimate cuz it's pretty much ass on face-yikes! That's why I always say 'carry baby wipes'-that way you don't have to sacrifice in the sack!), get head/give head! Just wait for my mutual masturbation post! It's gonna be detailed, personal,and RAD! So please! Don't lay there like a lump! Even if you're a beautiful lump! That is no excuse to be boring! Cuz if you're crazy in bed, super nice to look at AND have a great personality..........YOU WIN!
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11 comments:
"The only excuse for submissive sex is if you're being raped!"
Wow... I just thought you may need to read that one more time-
= win
great blog, seriously
Ok darling... you know I love you but I have to point something out.
Girls if you think what shes telling you to do is try and fuck US while we're trying to fuck YOU... I'm telling you right now its a bad idea.
Every once in a while I'll be fucking a girl and I can tell they're having those "hmm am I boring in bed... maybe I should try to fuck him back" moments and I'm here to tell you that you are going to MESS UP OUR RHYTHM!!!
And thats just annoying... so talk dirty, moan, call us daddy but unless we're on our backs and telling you to fuck us... KEEP YOUR VAGINA mostly still....
<3
"The only excuse for submissive sex is if you're being raped!"
While I love your blog posts, I question such extreme statements. Submissive sex can me fun if it is what you are into. If you like to play around with roles, I say go for it.
Your statements are honest and clear cut. But they are also exclusive. Restriction makes sex boring.
this is getting gnarly!
hahahaaaaaa aw man...
my brain is all a-tingle right now.
can you please stop talking about rape? it can be funny in some contexts, but not when you talk about it. for "SHOCK FACTOR" that is completely unnecessary. statistically speaking, your target audience (all us pretty girls in our 20's/30's, both single and taken), have been raped at some point. (date rape, anyone?) and for girls in that situation to read that and think that what happened to them should be taken lightly is really sad, because then they repress their feelings because they are made to think that what happened shouldn't affect them! it's not a big deal! and those who have come to terms with it are annoyed with your ignorance. and those who haven't been raped think whatever they want, but probably think it's pretty stupid to just throw the term around like that because if you want your blog to have any credibility whatsoever, you wouldn't need to SHOCK people in such a cheap way.
p.s. i'm GREAT in bed.
To the poster above, I'm sorry that you haven't yet come to terms with whatever happened to you but if you can't find the satyrical commentary in these posts maybe you should find a different blog. As women we should be celebrating anyone that has the guts to put herself out there and speak as harshly and honestly as she does. Unlike us with our anonymous comments... I don't know Alexi but I think its her harsh honesty that I look forward to reading everyday as soon as I get to work. "if you want your blog to have any credibility whatsoever, you wouldn't need to SHOCK people in such a cheap way." Who are these people that she should be looking for to give her CRED??? Alexi don't listen to her and Keep doing what you're doing most of us still have a sense of humor! xo
.....if i could only speak in the third person as well as alexi! :)
nope, i just write what i want, with my photo attached right next to it. speaking in the third person for myself is not necessary. i love you. xo
boys LOVE it if you fuck right back!
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