this is Cali DeWitt. a legend in his own time. he's lived a thousand lives, is REFERENCED in books, and has awesome bros-(one of which kind of looks like Jarvis Cocker and has WRITTEN a book.)Cali is/has achieved, so many things: co owner of hope gallery, a master blogger- yesterday and today, a great friend who will set you straight when you need some words of wisdom! he even runs a record label! need i go on, cuz i will?! don't push me!
unfortunately, when i ran into Cali, my camera was on the compact setting. and because of this- the video isn't as clear as it should be. i'm sorry Cali! this is what happens when i see you, i freak out in the best possible way and my camera skills go all herky jerky cuz i get too excited! i'm sure you understand! you're CALI!
why did i bother with the fasting and all that when Cali tells me this.....:
I'm in the fucking horrible process of detoxifying my body or whatever you wanna call it. in a few days, i'll be driving to a place in desert hot springs called 'we care: a juice fasting and spiritual retreat'. even the name makes me gag. but, that doesn't seem to be stopping me.
'we care' is THE place to go when you wanna pay a lot of money to be starved and given colonics. the detox process before going on my fast at 'we care' involves: no caffeine, no dairy, no nuts, bananas, grains, pasta, meat, cheese, processed food, caffeine, or alcohol. I'M DYING! i can barely write. seriously. i feel gutted and empty. last night i came home at like 4am, and posted the lamest shit. i blame 'we care'.
here's what I CAN have:
*fruit, raw and steamed vegetables, juices, herb teas.
*2 table spoons of olive oil before bedtime.
*8 oz of prune juice in the morning and herbal laxatives or laxative teas nightly.
um, why would i need a laxative? how many times can i say this: girls DON'T go to the bathroom. duh. bathrooms are for snorting cocaine, putting on makeup and gossiping with your girlfriends.
my stomach is eating itself! this is why i could never and have never been able to be anorexic. but what really scares me is the fact that i am going to VOLUNTARILY let a stranger at 'we care' insert a tube in my bum to blast my colon with warm water. and then massage out the poison. NOT that i even HAVE a colon. cuz girls don't do ANYTHING gross. ALL our holes are sewn up! except the vadge hole- of course! otherwise we'd be USELESS! well i guess the colonic lady's gonna have to rip out the seams, cuz she's going in! NOOOOO!
i'm scared. i just want to get it over with. i had to pay in advance. NOW this has become more a money thing than anything else. i WON'T have those 'we care' motherfuckers keep my money! my head is woozy. i miss coffee. it's only been three days! but i'm not ashamed; i fucking LOVE coffee! it's all i've got! i wake up for it. it makes me feel understood and taken care of. it totally completes me. that starbucks cup isn't just an epic drink, it's a goddamn fashion accessory.
anywayzies, back to my fear of the colonics that lurk in my future. i've NEVER even had ANAL sex. if i do this, does it mean i HAVE had anal sex? or SHOULD? do i base my feeling on whether i'll like anal sex on how i react when the lady puts the plastic rod, or whatever it's called, into my bum hole? oh no! what if it isn't a lady? i will NOT let a man see me like this! i'll just have to request a lady! what if all the garbage they syphon out of me doesn't even make me look thinner? if that's the case, will it really make me less toxic and healthier? is this whole thing a sham? probably. but a bum syphoning and a few days of not eating CAN'T make me fatter. i did this to myself.
here's a look at what i tried to pass off as an alright post yesterday. i apologize. it was superficial bullshit:
so, there was a party for nylon magazine last night. it's hard for me to get motivated to go out MOST of the time. i complain, try to talk myself out of it, get lazy, do surgery on my face so i'd be crazy to be seen in pubic. but not last night. last night i didn't give a fuck. tights, eyeliner, and out the door. i had pants and a shirt on too. but that's not the point. the point is, i had boycrazy stickers to hand out and beautiful boys to prey upon. and that's what i did.
i ran into lots of beautiful people that i love seeing, and i even made some new friends. i danced to lady gaga. yeah. lady fucking gaga. i couldn't stop eye darting (that's when you're SUPPOSED to be focusing on the person you're talking to, but your eyes keep darting around the room cuz you can't stop looking at what's going on around you). i hate when people do that to me, and here i was doing it too. but the party was too fucking crowded! i had to!
a girls hair caught on fire, which i thought was epic. she ran off screaming after we put it out, totally ignoring me when i offered her a sticker. my mantra for the evening was 'free stickers for beautiful people.' where do i come up with this shit?
the 'hills' was being shot at the party. i MIGHT even be an extra on the episode. DREAMS DO COME TRUE! i tried not to be, but my friendbrooke kept sitting at a banquet near the filming. what can you do? life is so hard! i was so confused! the hills was on tv during the party AND being filmed AT the party! wtf? it's like that 'if a tree falls in the forest' saying or whatever.... yowsers! good thing i have tivo. xo
in these pix: 'the hills' being filmed like only a pretend reality show can be filmed!
I've ALREADY blogged about Rickey, but i met up with him yesterday and REALLY felt the need to put him up here again. every time i meet with Rickey Kim, it's like a motivational slap in the face. every boy and girl should have a rickeykim in their life!
even though he says things like 'hood' and street slang stuff; and I'm probably the whitest person you'll ever meet (I'm the inspiration for Carlton's character from 'the fresh prince of Bel Air')- whenever Rickey and i sit down for a power chat I have a GOD DAMN blast.
sometimes i get nervous, cuz there are so many things i wanna ask him about technology, business, power playing and (as Rickey would say) "taking my shit to the next level"! the dude is constantly doing things, collaborating on projects, bringing people together, and inspiring me to be the best i can be!
and for that....I've elected Rickey Kim: dude of the day!
on a lighter note, here are two boys i met the other day at mayfair market on franklin! i was leaving the store and the taller of the two, with some very intense piercings, asked me if i had a boyfriend and told me i was a bodacious babe! how could i NOT get an interview for you guys! xo
once upon a time, Elizabeth Hurley was condemned for saying (in an interview)something along the lines of "if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe, I would have killed myself too." Now, that WASN'T the BEST way to represent herself in a quote. i even though she was a jerk for that, but still watched the Austen Powers movies cuz i love the sixties, and they're too good! personally, I think Marilyn Monroe is/was gorgeous and the standards in HER day were different than they are today.although, I'm sure she was just as frantic about her weight as the girlies are today.
but today, as i was trying to walk down the stairs to take the subway, I was fixated on the fat ass of a woman in front of me, blocking my path. Her and a dude were moving at maximum slowness, pushing their baby in a carriage. He had his arm around her (not tiny) waist and she leaned into him as though she felt sexy and maybe even, dare i say, comfortable in her skin!
I put myself in her situation, remembered the Hurley quote and thought- 'you know what? I probably WOULD contemplate suicide if I was as big as THAT woman!(she was DOUBLE the size of Marilyn, fyi- which makes me way less cruel than liz hurley) And I'm sure as hell i wouldn't have been able to feel sexy- alone OR in front of a dude who loved me. I wouldn't even be able to FAKE being comfortable in my skin. I wouldn't be able to trust his love for me!' how sick is that? but it's true. oh my god, years later and now i'm taking liz hurley's side? or at least, giving her point of view a chance.
Would I get the lap band? Probably. but would I ever even LET myself get to that level of fatness? Probably not. Now, I KNOW fatness CAN be hereditary, but no one in my family is fat. so the blame would be all my own. there's no pointing fingers if I get to be the mayor of fatsville usa. I'm not 'on the verge of death' waify or anything-MAN, I WISH!- but if i got to THAT point of fatdom with the family genes that I have- it would be all my fault!
I would either have to kill myself, get lypo, the lap band, go to jenny craig/weight watchers, and get a mother fucking trainer/nutrition guru. I ALREADY don't eat bread, rice, pasta, donuts, soda, cake or candy. Every once in a while I'll have a vegan dessert or a blow pop at a rave.
so, when I see a fatty at cbtl getting a mocha frap with extra whip (and one for their overweight kid too) I think: you unhealthy monster(s)! you're doing this to yourself. xo
MEET RICKEY KIM: he's the managing editor of the LA 944 magazine, a go getter, non stop do'er, blogger, hustler, collaborator and innovative thinker. somehow, someway- we met over the interweb and three days later we met up at m cafe to blog about eachother.
he's a fan of my site and i'm just a fan of his whole deal!
great style AND he likes my blog??? 'nuff said! I'M SOLD! this dude is CLEARLY a winner!!!!
check out all things rickey kim: his blog- mr.kim says , his online academic journal- evil monito and the magazine he runs 944.
if you'd rather not, do me a favor and punch yourself in the face. i'm not fucking around here! and NEITHER IS MR. KIM!!!
here's the interview with the man, the myth, the legend......RICKEY KIM!
nice to meet you mister! xoxo
ps: click HERE to contact rickey directly. ask him out, tell him how cute he is, or just request his friendship you coward!
i don't know who the hell this guy is, but I'll refer to him as an adorable cross between tom sawyer and conano'brian and leave it at that. he wiggles, he talks and he has bold opinions. you shouldn't even be reading this intro! you're wasting your time cuz the video speaks for itself! I'm so thankful my friend charlie has started introducing me to his bevy of young, thin, bearded friends. the first of many I'm hoping.....thanks charlie. soon I'll steal a piece of your soul too.
Like a cherub sent from heaven, in the nick of time, to provide me with a blog post for today..........THERE WAS ED! after a long day doing a photo shoot for my facebook default pic, i met up with Brooke at m cafe (because it's the place to be, we're not savages and we have good taste) for an hours long girly chat about everything and nothing. it was great, no joke, the gossip was amazing! but, always in the back of my mind was the nagging fact that I HAD NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT TO POST TODAY! but god works in mysterious ways (why am i making so many god references in this entry? I'm not religious! oh well, who cares?)....and in walked a leather clad, haphazardly put together (in an 'on purpose' kind of way), shaggy haired guy I'd never laid eyes on: ED!
It gets BETTER: he WASN'T American! yes, i admit it! just like everyone else American, i too am fooled by an English accent! he instantly became more interesting, worthwhile, attractive and intelligent because of it. was i born this stupid or did i acquire these illogical ideas over the years? don't answer that. and I'm not sure if it was because i'm white, a girl, not super ugly, OR because we have the same taste in restaurants- but Ed was SUPER forthcoming with his answer! i really appreciate it when a complete stranger answers my annoying questions in the most honest way they can.....so thank you Ed. maybe we'll all learn something or at least feel less alone. good morning.
If you don't have a sense of identity, DON'T worry about it! ALL you have to do is start dating as many guys as you can: all at once, or one after the other- your pick! and when they tell you about the stuff that they like:i.e. morrissey, cass mccombs, aphex twin, insert totally unknown or obscure band here- just pay attention! Listen for once in your goddamn life and take mental notes. Watch each and every one of your dudes when they hang out with their other male dude friends- and stash any good stories,jokes,man talk,bro sesh anecdotes,dude-isms,pop culture references in the pocket of your minds eye! Cuz when you break up with that guy, that bevy of newfound knowledge is in your "attracting the next dude-arsenal"! It's like we're playing Zelda! Or super mario bros! Or better yet- d and d! Work it bitches! And NEVER EVER give credit to the previous dude! He'll never know!!! This is called the college of life. Xo
What happened last night? I'll tell you what happened! Last night, you got banged by some dude and you were totally boring in bed! I'm soooo disappointed in you! The only excuse for submissive sex is if you're being raped! Otherwise, it is NOT an option! Plus, guys talk too you know, and you don't wanna get a rep for being a lame dud in the sack! Do you?? Now's not the time to worry about whether or not your bangs are perfectly straight. Now's the time to get nasty! I'm not saying that you should let him stick it in your bum, cuz I actually DON'T advocate that. I'm just saying, don't stop at GETTING fucked. You fuck him right back, you nasty bitch! Make noise if you want to, make whatever face you feel inclined to (shit, I hope it's not super ugly-oh well, I say take the chance! How ugly could it be? If you're reading this blog, it means you're beautiful!) Get on top, on your side, on the bottom,69 (although my best dude friend once told me that 69'ing is the ultimate in intimate cuz it's pretty much ass on face-yikes! That's why I always say 'carry baby wipes'-that way you don't have to sacrifice in the sack!), get head/give head! Just wait for my mutual masturbation post! It's gonna be detailed, personal,and RAD! So please! Don't lay there like a lump! Even if you're a beautiful lump! That is no excuse to be boring! Cuz if you're crazy in bed, super nice to look at AND have a great personality..........YOU WIN!
So the other day, i was gonna MAYBE take a Pilates class- cuz I'm trying to incorporate exercise into my life-(BORING), i had a work thing to do from 11am to 11:19am, and then an interview with a dude named Addison. i had never met him, but 1. his facebook photos were awesome, b. he likes my blog, and 3. he has a very photogenic face. done deal. (1, b,and 3 were written on purpose fyi. feel free to steal this and say it in public. makes people laugh every time- possibly at your expense, but SO WHAT!) I was a bit sleepy and burnt on the dude interviews for the week. me, burnt out on talking to dudes?! who was i? anywayzies. we were meeting up at Starbucks on Larchmont. if he was a dud/murderer and i had to escape- i could at least have a venti coffee with some half and half, check out Larchmont beauty center next door, go to rite aid and get a flash light to shine on guys the next time i do a night time interview (so they're not a dark blob with a voice attached, as per the usual), or i could beg Marlborough students (all girl private school) to take my stickers/make their classmates read my blog! But no. instead i made a new friend! Addison: a young man who's not only stylish and open to talking about his life and love experiences, but makes me look cool and hip- just by standing next to me, based on his youth and choice of outfit alone! i didn't know what to ask, how to feel. it wasn't a date, but what was it? just two random people talking about life. him in his American rag t shirt and me in my hm tights with an American apparel tote! this is what dreams are made of! while chatting about favorite TV shows (you've all been there) we discovered we both love arrested development! duh! are we not human? do we not bleed? and all of a sudden, in walks........Will Arnett! (in a white american apparel deep v and a dark denim jacket, if you MUST know- couldn't tell if it was Levis or apc. I'm gonna guess Levis.) Addison and i took this as a sign from our maker.....the maker of dreams come true! of ALL the Starbucks, in ALL the world, Will had walked into ours- mid chat over arrested development even?! come on! he was too talented and handsome NOT to be photographed and placed on my blog. and that's what i told him! i apologized for my infiltrating his personal space, and asking him to be a boycrazy.com representative. i told him that i felt i could get away with behavior like this because i'm a girl and my blog is awesome. he agreed. he was down! if you look closely, you'll see he's wearing a boycrazy.com sticker that i adorned him with. I'm sure it's in the trash somewhere now, most likely in the one right outside Starbucks! but i don't care. it was an exciting day! you're welcome! xoxo
I used to be so grateful when a guy liked me. So thankful he had put his attention on me. Until one day, I grew up and became a bit more discerning. I realized that I have a say in who I let into my life. That they should be so lucky to be inside me and a part of my world. Just because they were skinny or stylish or just, well, a dude- didn't mean they were the be all, end all. just because they were men, and spending time with me, didn't mean they were gods and that i had to be appreciative of the fact that they chose me. me! i don't know exactly WHEN i realized that I'm just as important as i thought they were, but I'm so happy that day came! it's changed me forever and for that i am grateful! Unfortunately, I really love make outs- so I still made out a ton after i had this epiphany! But at least it was much more thought out and i was the one doing the choosing.
If being good looking were a crime, this guy would have been locked up a long time ago. it's not his fault, he was just born this way....PERFECT! STOP punishing him for having the ability to make your heart sing. DON'T go mental! at the end of the day, he's really JUST a person. a person who has the power to stomp on your heart with a designer shoe you'd never be able to afford or pull off! so, sit back and listen to what he has to say. you might learn something. i wish i had! instead i fainted. i love you. ps: if you're in new york, check this out! xo
Hip, thin, young, a head full of thick hair, andHE had a lot to say. could you ask for more? that's rhetorical. don't speak. listen. i really appreciate it when i ask a man boy what it is that bothers/intrigues them about women, and they reach into the pit of their soul and answer. it is a beautiful thing. honesty and concentrated thought go a long way. here's what one young man said on new years eve......there were other good looking boys that night, but he is the first in a series called "hip and handsome on new years eve":
(PS: thank you for the tag Jonathan! Jonathan is my super cool cyber friend who is an amazing artist and for whatever reason, decided to tag my image and domain name next to m cafe. it's been painted over, but i got a photo of it while i could! keep it up Johnny! you're awesome and appreciated!)
Cali is/has achieved, so many things: co owner of hope gallery, a master blogger- yesterday and today, a great friend who will set you straight when you need some words of wisdom! he even runs a record label! need i go on, cuz i will?! don't push me! 
Cali is/has achieved, so many things: co owner of hope gallery, a master blogger- yesterday and today, a great friend who will set you straight when you need some words of wisdom! he even runs a record label! need i go on, cuz i will?! don't push me! 
