once upon a time, Elizabeth Hurley was condemned for saying (in an interview)something along the lines of "if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe, I would have killed myself too." Now, that WASN'T the BEST way to represent herself in a quote. i even though she was a jerk for that, but still watched the Austen Powers movies cuz i love the sixties, and they're too good! personally, I think Marilyn Monroe is/was gorgeous and the standards in HER day were different than they are today.although, I'm sure she was just as frantic about her weight as the girlies are today. but today, as i was trying to walk down the stairs to take the subway, I was fixated on the fat ass of a woman in front of me, blocking my path. Her and a dude were moving at maximum slowness, pushing their baby in a carriage. He had his arm around her (not tiny) waist and she leaned into him as though she felt sexy and maybe even, dare i say, comfortable in her skin!
I put myself in her situation, remembered the Hurley quote and thought- 'you know what? I probably WOULD contemplate suicide if I was as big as THAT woman!(she was DOUBLE the size of Marilyn, fyi- which makes me way less cruel than liz hurley) And I'm sure as hell i wouldn't have been able to feel sexy- alone OR in front of a dude who loved me. I wouldn't even be able to FAKE being comfortable in my skin. I wouldn't be able to trust his love for me!' how sick is that? but it's true. oh my god, years later and now i'm taking liz hurley's side? or at least, giving her point of view a chance.
Would I get the lap band? Probably. but would I ever even LET myself get to that level of fatness? Probably not. Now, I KNOW fatness CAN be hereditary, but no one in my family is fat. so the blame would be all my own. there's no pointing fingers if I get to be the mayor of fatsville usa. I'm not 'on the verge of death' waify or anything-MAN, I WISH!- but if i got to THAT point of fatdom with the family genes that I have- it would be all my fault!
I would either have to kill myself, get lypo, the lap band, go to jenny craig/weight watchers, and get a mother fucking trainer/nutrition guru. I ALREADY don't eat bread, rice, pasta, donuts, soda, cake or candy. Every once in a while I'll have a vegan dessert or a blow pop at a rave.
so, when I see a fatty at cbtl getting a mocha frap with extra whip (and one for their overweight kid too) I think: you unhealthy monster(s)! you're doing this to yourself. xo
53 comments:
What do you eat?
How is it possible to be a vegan and not eat carbs?
i'm not vegan. i just like vegan food too.
haha love it..so true
You know it's not their fault. They physically cannot say no to that 17th piece of cake.
What do you eat for breakfast?
I had a similar experience yesterday. I was walking down 8th Ave (the one in Manhattan) and I noticed that the woman in front of me was so massive that her pants had split a bit in the back and she didn't walk (she wobbled). I felt terrible for being disgusted by how massive she was. I mean, I could not bear to be that big but I still felt like a terrible person which is strange because society wants us to believe that there is a standard of beauty but when we point it out we're scolded for thinking that way. Is anyone else confused?
I don't feel terrible for being disgusted at obesity. I find addiction disgusting in general. Anybody who lets a substance rule their life, makes me sick. I think thats a good thing. It keeps me from doing the same shit.
And when I say substance, I mean food, drugs, money, opinions of others and religion. And probably bratty children. And animals. And jealous/controlling boyfriends.
the hottest "fat" chic i ever seen...
Yeah, Marinda. Any substance - food, drugs, animals, intolerance, etc. All bad. Except chocolate. (Note - white chocolate is not chocolate, it is technically an abomination).
Boycrazy, you are only half as cruel as Hurley. However, I kinda like cruelty in tasty doses, so I can't knock her for that.
And Monroe was pretty big - maybe a size 10 or 12 in today's numbers? It doesn't make her a bad person, though. Oh wait - just checked my size chart and she's right over the line of being a bad person. Never mind.
You know what, it sucks seeing overweight people and having that reaction. It’s like, who gives a fuck, we’d probably be a lot happier being carefree. But you think about what it`s like and if that were to ever happen to you. I’m skinny, and I fucking feel this pressure to be even skinnier, and it sucks. I`m extremely thankful for my metabolism but I also have this fear that I`ll wake up one day, stand up, and my thighs will be touching, you know? I definitely don`t discriminate against anyone “bigger” than me and I wish others wouldn’t either because then maybe someone as skinny as myself wouldn`t have to feel like they ought to be skinnier. I mean, it’s a little fucked up that I feel this way when I guess I’m perfectly fine.
its SAD why dont all Ugly girls kill themselves too
there burdens on society just like fat people??
good idea!
You guys are mental. What does boycrazy eat? Please reveal. Thank you.
love your site.
http://www.20nothing.com
be and let be
A blow pop at a rave????
it was a joke. but if i DO have a blow pop (NOT at a rave) it's apple flavored!
How much of this is farce? I think that these are ugly, negative thoughts that you shouldn't even write to yourself, let alone an audience. You can't comprehend a girl's happiness because she isn't thin? Why question it at all or even compare her to yourself? If I were in an industry reliant heavily on looks then I would be terrified to be ugly too, I guess. Desperate validation of beauty isn't interesting or endearing.
cool. thanks for taking the time to read and comment. however, i would never tell you or anyone what to think, read, or write- privately or for an audience. and i wasn't exactly saying the fat lady who inspired me to write this post SHOULDN'T like herself or have self worth. instead, she made me look at myself and wonder how i would feel about myself if i was fat, like her. i wouldn't have been able to be as strong as she is. and since i wouldn't be able to be that strong...well then i better not get fat. this blog is not a farce. xo
i just wonder why the most skinny girls i know aren't as happy as the no that skinny ¿?
You lost me on this post.................you really lost me:( I thought you were..........
My friends and I all agreed not to read this blog after reading this, we feel really let down, like if you met us you probably wouldn't want us as your readers because we wouldn't live up to your standards
Dissapointed in your recent crappy blog;;;;;
well, that's a shame. i would have hoped you wouldn't chastise me for being honest about what i was thinking one day. people think a lot of horrible and cruel things all the time, and never say them out loud or give people the opportunity to judge them. you probably like this blog because i'm so blunt and honest. personally i wouldn't get so offended by a blog called i'm boy crazy, but that is your choice. when i don't like something, i ignore it and wish it well. things can't affect you if you don't let them. i guess i hit a nerve, which tells me more about you then it does me. but, just so you know, if we met in person...i would love you just as you are. honestly and sincerely. xoxoxo
Alexi, I salute you.
Hang on a sec,
Boycrazy you are basically saying that fat people should not be happy. They should not even live.
Just because they disturb your view on your way to the subway... How very dare they!?
I could understand if you wouldn't employ them or be friends with them, but denying their right to happiness or even worse- their right to live- is outrageous. This is beyond shallow: just stupid.
This post was the first I read on your blog- be sure I am not to come back.
when exactly did i deny their right to live? i must be black out blogging. and when did i say they shouldn't be comfortable in their skin (actually, that's not fair, i can see how i totally implied that)? but, and this is the last time i'm gonna spell out what i wrote for you: the post was about seeing a large woman comfortable in her skin and me realizing that i would not be able to be that way. all this stemming from a walk to the subway and remembering a harsh liz hurley quote. xo
You're still my crush.. haha
i just keep thinking of Jane Birkin in BlowUp whenever i read IMBOYCRAZY.. almost totally naked "But you haven't taken any photos"...
alexi, i appreciate your honesty!
yes, you guys, it's hard to take at times...but honesty & bluntness isn't meant to be kind & stroke your squishy thigh. i've struggled with my weight all my life & it totally sucks! i'm at a "normal" weight now, but every day i beat myself up for not working out to get to where i want to be & sometimes feel like i'm one mini-corndog away from blowing up like fat anna nicole...why am i eating those anyway?! sigh. anyway, i forgot where i was going with this...but cruel can be funny! it usually is! AND! this isn't a personal attack on anyone, really! alexi simply made an observation & visualized herself in that situation...and it horrified her. jesus!
xo,
a
This post is extremely disturbing for many reasons.
Firstly, your fixation “on the fat ass of a woman in front of me” is not one of respect. The terms and phrases that you use to describe this woman do not show that you have any openness towards individuals that are other than you (and the projected you, the you you wish to be that can be found through specific diets, make-up, yoga, and other controlled societal practices that mold a woman into the ideal subject of the male gaze). You describe this woman as in a state of “maximum slowness” (as if she is incapable of being within this world at a ‘normal’ rate or level). You describe her through out the post only in relation to weight, in your terms: at “THAT level of fatness” and at “THAT point of fatdom” (as if a woman at THAT level is undeserving of any other description). And finally, you define her as part of a group, a group of overweight individuals who are stereotypically pushed into one corner and labeled “unhealthy monster(s)”. All of your degrading descriptions of this woman override your suggestion that she may even feel sexy (“as though she felt sexy and maybe even, dare I say, comfortable in her skin!”).
Secondly, you replace this woman (the emotions of her movement, her ability to love and be loved, her role as a mother, her right to walk as and where she wishes, etc.) with the size of her ass. You write so passionately about this ass that was “blocking [your] path” that you introduce her only as a body. And not even a body, but one part of a body! To refer to women only by their exterior further suppresses women under cultural norms that silence them within the patriarchal system.
Thirdly, what you, as an author, intended to say (as revealed by your responses to reader commentary) was not communicated at all. In fact, the post communicated the opposite of what you desired. If you are a writer who believes not only in expression but power through language, then it should be your goal to write clearly. If you are unable to write successfully with intention then you risk empowering the wrong person. In this case, as in many other instances in your blog, you attempt to empower women through honest and expressive dialogue, yet you remain controlled by images of what a woman should look like and how a woman should act. Who are you really empowering here?
You write inconsiderately towards others, but also towards yourself. I am sorry you were unable to see how this post disturbed readers.
Suggested summer reading: Virginia Woolf A Room of One’s Own, Julia Kristeva Woman Can Never Be Defined, Helene Cixous The Laugh of the Medusa, and Luce Irigaray This Sex Which is Not One.
Suggested spring reading: Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. Story of My Life by Jay McInerney. Oh, The Places You'll Go by Theodore Geisel.
"If you are unable to write successfully with intention", then you should write overly serious deconstructions of blog entries. What I got from the entry - Alexi has body image issues (this just in - girl in Hollywood with body image issues - film at eleven) - and seeing other extremes makes her think about her own issues in more stark contrasts. Then I got hungry and stopped paying attention because delivery food was here. Maybe I missed the deep meaning.
Seriously, it would be fun to deconstruct your deconstruction (didn't Virginia Woolf fill her pockets with stones and drown herself? are you suggesting her because of her illuminating work or her depressing life?)
However, I don't want to throw fuel on the fire. (Okay, maybe just a bit of fuel, but only 'cause I like watching things burn).
Anything that encourages and engenders discourse is good. I like hearing your opinion and what you take offence at, and I like hearing her opinion. Someone who writes about body image is not inherently evil (she's inherently evil for unrelated reasons). Did she use provocative language? Sure. Wow, an angsty writer in 2009 who uses provocative language in a blog about (let's face it) sex.
I think she should stop discussing body image issues as soon as Kathy Bates gets the same roles as Keira Knightley and fashion magazines don't care if you're 5'11 and 111lbs or 5'1 and 151 lbs. Oooh, and when tasty triple berry cakes grow on trees (just wanna get that in there in case anyone is granting wishes).
I have to give you props for voicing your opinion without fear. The lack of fear on the topic has made for a comfortably obese America. Given, there are a few cases where people can't change their circumstance, but if you can, shame on you for not trying. Given, also, there are some people with eating disorders. I don't consider myself fat, but I know it's my responsibility to take care of my body, and keep it healthy. We should all care.
wow, this fat thing really hits a nerve huh?!
My little sister kept going on at me about this opinionated blog and this crazy positive girl that went off on fascinating random tangents, but I literally found her in tears after reading this. Who knew someone could be so malicious?
BTW Monroe was size 10 in her time which is around size 4/6 in our time.
Your blog like any other personal blog is pure self-indulgent, so it's natural that you write about your fear and distaste. Lame as fuck but what more I say?
bebe- that's awful! :( i kinda get what you mean though this site is usually full of really positive energy. like she's living her life the way she wants and doesn't care what people think of her behavior, but then she's such a harsh judge of someone else's behavior...
so when when we look at drug addicts and alcoholics and think ew i never want to be like that, that's ok to do? but when one girl points out seeing an overweight woman and thinking similiar thoughts, she's suddenly this insensitive person. you people are wack. like we haven't all made a fat joke once in our life. get over yourselves.
you'd kill yourself if you were fat? you fucking sissy. shit gets worse than fat. and i don't think this was you just voicing your opinion on some random topic, i think you were just trying to be catty or you were really fucking hard up for something to say.
Haha yeah that's a good point, if the thought of being fat makes you suicidal you've lived a very sheltered life. I'm kinda jealous that she's that superficial actually, I WISH that being fat was the worst thign I could possibly imagine happening to me, ignorance really is bliss y'know.
shit comes back and slaps you in the face. i bet you get fat. i bet you won't kill yourself, either. idiot.
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
oh my god people, don't read this fucking blog if it insults you. nobody is forcing it down your throat! go eat cake
xoxo
lala
Stupidity IS insulting. Ignorance IS insulting.
imboycrazy is the most entertaining/hilarious/awesome blog ever! it's like you're constantly writing about the things I wish I'd said out loud.
doin it.
i randomly stumbled across your blog, and i couldn't believe what i was reading. i'm all for being honest, but being honest and being a shallow bitch are two different things, and you are a shallow bitch. it's ok to say that you yourself don't want to be obese, and yes, it probably is their fault, but to speak about another human being in such a disrespectful manner is appalling. and on top of all of that, you're a horrible writer. this post screams, "i have no class."
A HORRIBLE writer, I second that.
Alexi!!! If I see you answer another one of these fucktards who are bashing your blog I will slap the taste out of your mouth next time I see you. To all the fucktards writing your stupid insecure hate responses to this blog: GO FUCK YOURSELVES. This is the goddamn internet not your fucking living room. You don't like it, leave. If any of you fucking idiots knew this person would feel shity writing what you wrote. She'S one of the smartest, most considerate, caring people I know. She's forward, fucking deal with it. Love you Lexi!
How about my internet's in my livingroom, Tarl?
This post is full of shit, ALexi. I hope you honestly don't walk around thinking such dumb lowclass shit all the time and then consider writing a damn blog entry about it.
"i'm all for being honest, but being honest and being a shallow bitch are two different things"
I just can't resist good writin'. How are those - two different things?? What if she is a shallow bitch? Then she's just being honest, right? That's something to respect, by your logic. No offense to boycrazy. Although I have to say, any time someone prefaces a statement with "no offense", you can expect to take offense. Many literary devices are just a way to dress up a pig.
And no offense, but writing on someone's personal blog comments that, "on top of all of that, you're a horrible writer. this post screams, 'i have no class.'" Might I respectfully question the class of the aforementioned comment? I'm not totally sure the only appropriate response to vague existential attacks on life - is to personalize those attacks.
You also point out it probably is their fault if they're fat, yet boycrazy is more calling herself out and even mentions that others sometimes have hereditary reasons. Yet as someone more prone to coltish beauty, she would have no one else to blame but herself if she suddenly were to become a lifetime member of Stuckey's Pie Club.
Luckily, judging by the 50+ comments on this topic, we can see that most people are not disturbed by ruminating on body image issues in modern society. So we can all go back to watching The Biggest Loser, or maybe Extreme Home Makeover.
Too bad Queen for a Day was so far ahead of its time.
nooo in college i learned how to binge eat (and binge drink)! help! i'm not fat or pudgy or any of that shit but...soon! what do you eat? any tips???
Post a Comment