take it down a notch:

People are so weird! More than one person can fit at the fucking milk/stir/pouring out excess coffee/mixing station at Starbucks! What the fuck! I hate when I squeeze in next to someone, giving them totally enough elbow room and they still give me attitude! I'm just trying to work together! it's a free fucking country! we're obviously both in a hurry. it's not a big deal! pick your battles! you don't own Starbucks (although I seriously doubt the owner would mind a cram sesh at the work station. he'd be happy about the business)! and then they give me the passive aggressive look over their shoulder!  it isn't your right to feel like a king at the mixing station. Move the fuck aside and let's consciously ignore each other and do what we need to do! I'd actually rather you said "hey bitch cunt, you're in my space!" That way I could reply "yes, fuckface, I can see that! I'm pretty sure we can coexist here for 19 seconds you shit eating asshole! Have a good day! I love you". but i guess that's just me living in a fantasy world. which brings me to those people who stand behind me, when I'm in their way, but I clearly have no idea and don't know there is someone who needs to get past me! And when I finally do turn around and see them and say "oh, hey, sorry, I had no idea, whoopsies. allow me to move!"and they just huff and roll there eyes, and barrel past me all over the top stylies-performing for me and everyone else they've been trying to gain empathy from for the past 5 minutes. When all they needed to say was "excuse me. I need to get by." That's why we have vocal cords! To communicate! you passive aggressive bitches! Speak, and your wish might be granted! Or just hold it in and grow an ulcer. Your call. oh yeah, and it's totally cool to signal when changing lanes and/or turning. Xoxo

look how hard i work for you:

                                                                                                       

what a great random day:

So the other day, i was gonna MAYBE take a Pilates class- cuz I'm trying to incorporate exercise into my life-(BORING), i had a work thing to do from 11am to 11:19am, and then an interview with a dude named Addison. i had never met him, but 1. his facebook photos were awesome, b. he likes my blog, and 3. he has a very photogenic face. done deal. (1, b,and 3 were written on purpose fyi. feel free to steal this and say it in public. makes people laugh every time- possibly at your expense, but SO WHAT!) I was a bit sleepy and burnt on the dude interviews for the week. me, burnt out on talking to dudes?! who was i? anywayzies. we were meeting up at Starbucks on Larchmont. if  he was a dud/murderer and i had to escape- i could at least have a venti coffee with some half and half, check out Larchmont beauty center next door, go to rite aid and get a flash light to shine on guys the next time i do a night time interview (so they're not a dark blob with a voice attached, as per the usual), or i could beg Marlborough students (all girl private school) to take my stickers/make their classmates read my blog!
But no. instead i made a new friend! Addison: a young man who's not only stylish and open to talking about his life and love experiences, but makes me look cool and hip- just by standing next to me, based on his youth and choice of outfit alone! i didn't know what to ask, how to feel. it wasn't a date, but what was it? just two random people talking about life. him in his American rag t shirt and me in my hm tights with an American apparel tote! this is what dreams are made of! while chatting about favorite TV shows (you've all been there) we discovered we both love arrested development! duh! are we not human? do we not bleed? and all of a sudden, in walks........Will Arnett! (in a white american apparel deep v and a dark denim jacket, if you MUST know- couldn't tell if it was Levis or apc. I'm gonna guess Levis.) Addison and i took this as a sign from our maker.....the maker of dreams come true! of ALL the Starbucks, in ALL the world, Will had walked into ours- mid chat over arrested development even?! come on! he was too talented and handsome NOT to be photographed and placed on my blog. and that's what i told him! i apologized for my infiltrating his personal space, and asking him to be a boycrazy.com representative. i told him that i felt i could get away with behavior like this because i'm a girl and my blog is awesome. he agreed. he was down! if you look closely, you'll see he's wearing a boycrazy.com sticker that i adorned him with. I'm sure it's in the trash somewhere now, most likely in the one right outside Starbucks! but i don't care. it was an exciting day! you're welcome! xoxo

i used to be so scared:

I used to be so grateful when a guy liked me. So thankful he had put his attention on me. Until one day, I grew up and became a bit more discerning. I realized that I have a say in who I let into my life. That they should be so lucky to be inside me and a part of my world. Just because they were skinny or stylish or just, well, a dude- didn't mean they were the be all, end all. just because they were men, and spending time with me, didn't mean they were gods and that i had to be appreciative of the fact that they chose me. me! i don't know exactly WHEN i realized that I'm just as important as i thought they were, but I'm so happy that day came! it's changed me forever and for that i am grateful! Unfortunately, I really love make outs- so I still made out a ton after i had this epiphany! But at least it was much more thought out and i was the one doing the choosing.

more hip and handsome on new years eve:

If being good looking were a crime, this guy would have been locked up a long time ago. it's not his fault, he was just born this way....PERFECT! STOP punishing him for having the ability to make your heart sing. DON'T go mental! at the end of the day, he's really JUST a person. a person who has the power to stomp on your heart with a designer shoe you'd never be able to afford or pull off! so, sit back and listen to what he has to say. you might learn something. i wish i had! instead i fainted. i love you.

ps: if you're in new york, check this out! xo

in bed with jack and pj:

Sometimes you just have to storm into a dudes house, beg him and his actor friend to take their shirts off, and ask them questions till they give you a goddamn answer. so that's what i did. i was bored and lonely. I'd just had a full and productive day getting my hair cut & colored, and my nails done. i didn't even have to wake up early the next day, so i could totally stay up late! but do what, where, and with who? i had no one to annoy! i needed brains to play with! dolls made out of people!

Meanwhile, jack and pj were cozy at home (not in a gay way) living their lives, playing video games, texting, watching the boob tube, one up'ing each other with witty quips and fast paced banter... UNTIL I ARRIVED, TO FUCK THEIR SHIT UP! so tonight, this is what i learned via pillow talk. we didn't have sex, but i made sure there was a pillow near by each of the boys -at all times- to make them feel safe and have something to squeeze in case my questions got too scary. let's learn about the inner workings of two successful, cool, heterosexual, hip, young, go-getting dudes!

                                                 

                                                     

                                                 

dude of the day!!!!!

Look at this dude? who the hell does he think he is??? just because he's a male model who has tattoos that probably drive the designers he works for kuh-razy AND he knows how to play scrabble AND he can read (see stack of books he keeps to his left at all times) doesn't mean he has the right to give me the goddamn finger! like i even care! yes, he could give zoolander a run for his money! yes, I've heard the dude knows how to surf well or whatever! and yes, he's probably super rich and lives in the 'bu'. but why does he need to have his blackberry on the table at all times? to rub it in peoples faces that he gets a lot of bootie calls? gross (I'm borderline mortified that i even typed the word 'bootie'. ahhh, i did it again!) when this photo was taken he was in the middle of being photographed by me, and spouting off orders to some foxy female babe "I'm ready for my coffee and pie now!" not even a please! (on a side note: doesn't it suck that male models can eat pie, while girl models probably can't. life is sooo bogus!) you know why!? because he doesn't need to say please! he's GOOD LOOKING you fools! it is his right to take what he wants and leave the girls heartbroken in the wake of his manliness! he may have given me the finger, but at least I won scrabble. actually, i didn't. I'm totally lying. I'm sorry. another totally sexy hot dude won. wow, is this the week of the man or what?! i guess the moral of the story is: don't hate the player, hate the game? goodnight.

hip and handsome on new years eve:

Hip, thin, young, a head full of thick hair, and HE had a lot to say. could you ask for more? that's rhetorical. don't speak. listen. i really appreciate it when i ask a man boy what it is that bothers/intrigues them about women, and they reach into the pit of their soul and answer. it is a beautiful thing. honesty and concentrated thought go a long way. here's what one young man said on new years eve......there were other good looking boys that night, but he is the first in a series called "hip and handsome on new years eve":

(PS: thank you for the tag Jonathan! Jonathan is my super cool cyber friend who is an amazing artist and for whatever reason, decided to tag my image and domain name next to m cafe. it's been painted over, but i got a photo of it while i could! keep it up Johnny! you're awesome and appreciated!)

DUDE OF THE DECADE!!!

This is Nigel Godrich. Superstar producer extraordinaire! The man, the myth, the legend. if you don't know who he is, i feel really bad and embarrassed for you. I've given you the opportunity to click on a link and educate yourself....you monster! read it, if you even NEED to, then come back! Nigel is a hot babe and women love him! can you blame them? hello?! he's a foxy, talented, super successful, sexy dude who has great style and has often times been referred to as a quick witted charmer! how could he not be boycrazy's top choice for "dude of the decade"?! i asked Nigel a few hard hitting boycrazy questions, and he was kind enough to answer them because a.) he's awesome b.) i totally cornered him and 3.) we're friends and guilt goes a long way when you know how to work it!  so thanks NIGE! you're amazing! happy new year! xo

HANGIN' WITH NIGE':

1. what is your favorite thing about women/something that women do?
Pretending not to care and secretly trying really hard to please you..

2. what is your least favorite thing about woman/something that women do?
Taking forever to get ready. Pretending they don't go to the lavatory. Sleeping with idiots.

3. do you prefer blondes or brunettes?
My mother is brunette, Agnes from Abba is blonde.. I swing between the 2.

4. is there a type of underwear you prefer on a ladies bum?
Simple classic white cotton. No bright colors.. No thongs please..
5. would you ever get in a fist fight to protect a woman you were in love with?
Absolutely and without question.
6. do you ever feel too attractive?
Anybody who answers yes to that question obviously needs help. So... no.
7. have you ever gotten a manicure and/or pedicure?
Yes - only once during a particularly metro phase as a birthday present from my gay cousin. Very strange experience. Haven't done it again.
8. what would be the best prezzy a woman could get you on your
birthday or Christmas?
Slot car racing set with special treats for the best driver..!!
9. any advice on what a girl shouldn't do when trying to make a guy
fall in love with her?
Don't play games.. if you're serious. Don't promise things you can't deliver.
10. any advice on what a girl SHOULD do to make a boy fall in love with her?
Be honest.. be yourself. Wear white cotton panties.
11. what's the worst thing, fashion wise, a girl can do?
Wear clothes that prohibit movement to the point of ridicule.. ie. shoes that make you walk like a monkey..
12. is it hard to be so stylish?
I think I'm surrounded by more stylish people than myself.. I try my best.
13. what's your favorite store?
A.P.C., Margiela, Paul Smith..
14. do you think alexi wasser is a great person?
I love Alexi Celine Wasser.. who wouldn't?
15. weirdest place a woman has ever hit on you?
In line at the post office..
16. in your opinion, what city has the sexiest women?
Cardiff.. no wait.. LA probably. They're all so well turned out. Parisians are beautiful as well, but too crazy. Stay clear.
17. how could a woman hit on you in public, without coming across as
an overbearing/creepy stalker.
By being nice. Not talking in a creepy/stalker voice. Try asking directions..
18. what's your favorite TV show? (feel free to plug your new show on IFC)
I hardly EVER watch Tv these days..
19. do you think I'm beautiful? "no", would be the wrong answer.
I think we're all beautiful in our own way. Even the ugly amongst us. I know lame answer sorry.
20. do you think public displays of affection are cool or embarrassing?
Depends on their nature - essentially they're cool.. but there's a line which can be crossed. No snogging in company.

don't be so gross:

Lets face it: your vagina is a dark, dank, breeding ground for a whole lotta disgusting nonsense! i actually don't blame guys for being scared and uneasy about going down there! but they better get the fuck over it and man up! or else they can consider themselves A. gay and B. dumped. actually- why do i feel that a gay dude, who's out of the closet and comfortable with his sexuality, would be more inclined to go down on a girl than a super frightened hetero dude? oh well, who knows? I'm just thinking out loud here. is that a crime? 

anyways, back to you ladies! it's in our best interest to keep that area clean and pristine! yeast infections, bacterial infections, razor burn, overgrown monster bushes, accidentally inserting more than one tampon and forgetting about the first one that's now lodged inside of you and is rotting, not to mention ruining your social life, ARE ALL NO NO's! yes, this is the grossest post I've ever posted, and hopefully will ever post! but it needs to be said! people are disgusting! i should know! I'm surrounded by you monsters ALL THE TIME! seriously though! you MUST go to the gynecologist all the time! you should get checked out every time you have sex with a new dude! I'm not kidding! you laugh now, but being a single girl-which I'm very familiar with-it's in your best interest to take care of yourself. no one else will! people lie! boys lie! girls lie! use a condom! except when you give blow jobs, cuz that would just be social suicide. don't be afraid of seeing your gyno over and over again! the doctor will actually respect you more and be happy you're paying her! 

so, back to your privates! i go to a Russian day spa. i truly believe that Russian women are the best at hurting you, while simultaneously convincing you they're making you beautiful, and sending you out the door smiling with a wallet that's a little lighter than it was when you'd arrived. I'm over the whole landing strip thing! it's lame! how about natural but manicured on top (which actually makes your thighs looks smaller and balances out your body) and completely bare on the bottom (that's so it's considerate and less complicado for the dudes you let down there). write me with your feedback boys AND girls! I'd like to hear what you think! life is about constantly learning! RIGHT??? 

so-for a healthy vadge, eat yogurt, or make sure to ingest some sort of acidophilus or 'good bacteria'. and for the love of god, drink pineapple juice! you know why they tell men to drink it! why don't you do yourself the same favor? you can drink pineapple coconut juice too! options! how exciting! don't wear undies to bed (as much as you can), and try not to wear tights or super tight jeans all the time! let your privates breath! yes, i typed that! I'm disgusting! somebody has to be, to get the word out. I'm just trying to make a contribution!