Friday, December 19, 2008

important things happen in cars late at night:

One time my friend (and by 'friend', i mean me) made out/kissed a boy so much and so passionately that my frenulum ripped. what's a frenulum? good question. I'm glad you asked. because i didn't know what a frenulum was either, until mine was ripped. a frenulum is basically the piece of skin that connects the bottom of your TONGUE to the inside of your MOUTH. it is a small fold of tissue that secures or restricts the motion of a mobile organ in the body. people have a frenulum  by your privates too-connecting your privates to your body or your bum or whatever. but that is NOT the one I ripped. yuck. i repeat, that is NOT what I ripped! HOW DARE YOU? what kind of skeeze do you think i am? don't answer that. anyways, i guess the boy sucked on my tongue too hard and it ripped. i started crying and my frenulum was bleeding. awkward! he's totally cute and meant well, and the kisses had always been delightful.....up until now. i guess that's the price you pay for being a makeout queen. and i thought aids would be my only potential danger! i thought wrong! wowzers. when i went to my dentist to ask him if i was OK, and what exactly had happened- he explained that my frenulum was ripped. i would've liked to have left it at that, but it got weirder. my dentist started coming onto me. my ripped frenulum was now a billboard saying "I'm easy! slut approaching!" gross. didn't he know i was only interested in previously '60s style mod dudes, turned fashionably modern circa now- with only a light nod to the '60s haircut /art faggy/hip cool casual indie kids between the ages of 18 and 37? I'm an elitist snob when it come to makeouts. and married, 57 year old, Beverly hills dentists were not on my agenda. so, now i go to a different dentist. one who doesn't know about my sordid makeouts or ripped parts. one who doesn't tell me that he used to be a drummer in his high school band. what the fuck?! xo ttyl

1 comment:

jesse said...

i'm just really glad that your dentist was in beverly hills....livin te dream dude!